Final Week Pictures

These are our lovely stockings that were hanging up for our Christmas Choir Concert!  The pictures above this are of us setting up for the concert!!

The Reader's Theater performance!  My final performance at
Skyview High School!!  You guys did great!  Props to
Camerata to making me cry in their performance of:
"Through the Eyes of a Child"

This is Joie's little girl, Solana!
She can't pronounce my name,  so she calls me "Wawa!"

L to R: Matt, Me, Joie, and Nick.  We sang Pentatonix's "Run to You" for our final performance of the semester!  Loved working with these wonderful musicians and even better friends!  :)

Joie and I in our "ugly" sweaters

All of these pictures are just a few of the students that I had the opportunity to work with!  They were all such blessings in my life!  Love you guys!!!

"Never say goodbye . . ."

"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”
~J.M. BARRIE  Peter Pan

Well, it is done I have finished my student teaching and therefore my Bachelor's degree!  So many different emotions have run through me over the course of this last week, but the one that is most prominent is gratitude.  I have changed so much over these last few months; I truly believe that God knew that the people of Nampa could teach me just as much (if not more) than I could teach them!  I cannot think of a single person there that did not change my life in some way or another!  I'm so grateful for all of the people in Nampa and all of the wonderful things they have taught me!

The last few days of classes were some of the hardest for me.  I'm one of those people who HATE with a fiery, burning passion to say goodbye to people!  I just don't like it!  And yet, that was what I was having to say to a lot of amazing and incredible people the last few days.  I had students coming up to me and giving me hugs, cards, flowers, candy, and one student even gave me a blanket that he made!  Through all of it I don't think I actually said the words "goodbye" to any of my students!  Barrie summed it up perfectly in the above quote; I don't plan on forgetting any of these people.  Even if I tried, I don't think I could!  I wish I could put into words what all of these wonderful people have done for me and have taught me, but there are far too many lessons that I have been taught!  These are the five that popped up the most during my time here:

1. Accepting people is different than accepting their lifestyle.  I met a lot of people who didn't live the same standards that I live and who have different opinions on lifestyles.  That is okay!!  I can accept and love people and not accept their lifestyle!  There is a HUGE difference!  God accepts all of His children; He does not always like what we are doing, but He loves and accepts us.  If I am "trying to be like Jesus" then why should I be any different?

2. All bad days come to an end.  I had a lot of bad days!  "Bad days" include things like: bad vocal day, bad teaching day, I broke my tail-bone bad day, and the list goes on.  But, all of those days are in the past; they are done!  I had days where all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and never come out!  But then that day was done and another day came and it was usually better!  We all have trials in our lives, some more serious than others, but I testify that they come to an end.  God is watching out for all of us and will provide strength to get you through that "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day"!

3. God knows better than I!  This is one that I keep learning over-and-over again!  I wish I would remember it!  I did not want to come to Nampa!  I wanted to go some place besides Utah or Idaho because I spent the majority of my life in both places!  I love to travel and I was excited to get to go someplace besides Utah or Idaho!  But, God knew where I needed to be.  He knew that there would be people there that I needed to meet to change my life (and I hope the other way around).  God knew that, in order for me to become more like Him, I needed these people in my life!  Note to all: God knows better than you do what you need and when you need it!

4. "You are doing better than you think you are doing; but you can do better!"  This is one of my favorite quotes of all time, and it is 100% true!  Going back to the "bad days" thing, I would come home from school some days feeling like I had picked the wrong profession!  I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life and that I had wasted 5+ years of my life preparing for something that I was never going to do!  I will be the first to admit that I was not the perfect student teacher!  I made a lot of mistakes!  But, I also know that I worked really hard to do all of the things that I could and to try and be the best student teacher I could be!  I worked my hardest every day and strived to become a better teacher every day!  Every day, I came back a better teacher!  Again, I'm not perfect (nor will I ever be) but I got better!  This same principle applies to every aspect of my life!  I'm not perfect, but I'm striving to be better every day.  I'm doing better than I think I am, but I can also do better!

5. The Power of One.  This really is summed up in the first few paragraphs of this entry; these people have changed my life!  Each person has changed it in one way or another!  I have also been privileged to hear from some of my students the things that I have done to help them.  As a reader, may I just say that YOU have the power to change peoples' lives!  Just by smiling at somebody, by helping them pick up something they have dropped, by buying somebody's dinner at the drive-thru, it doesn't matter!  You change peoples' lives every day!  You matter!

It has not even been a week yet and I miss these people terribly!  Thank you for making me a better person Skyview and Nampa! :)

"Thank you Mr. Gardener . . . "

These past few weeks have been quite a challenge for me!  I have been having a difficult time with one of the choirs here and I wasn't quite sure what I was doing wrong.  I was convinced that it was just me and that it was completely my fault (I tend to put all responsibility on myself if things go wrong).  I had hit a point in my student teaching where I just feel like I'm doing more damage than help in Joie's program and it wasn't a good feeling!  The more I dwelt on it, the worse I got!  I felt like students started to hate me and that music was just falling apart.

Now, before you freak out or call me to tell me that everything is okay, keep reading.  I had a wonderful realization the other day as I was speaking to one of my friends; it isn't completely my fault.  Yes, I am part of the equation but I am not the entire equation!  I received great comfort from my mentor teacher in speaking with her about it.  It turns out, I'm not the only student teacher who has had a difficult time with this class!  Not only that, but it is just that one class that has been "falling apart".  I had an awesome rehearsal with a different choir and realized that I was a HUGE part of their improvement!!  I could not--and still cannot--believe the thoughts I was having the last few weeks.  As I've been reflecting on my time here in Nampa and all of the experiences I've had.  A lot of them have been "negative" experiences (at first glance).  I had a moment where I thought I knew what was best for me!  I thought that I was in the wrong place, that I didn't belong here, that I was sent here by mistake, and all of these silly thoughts that just would not leave my head!  And a lot of those things are true, I feel like a fish out of water here in Nampa . . . but I honestly believe that is what I needed!

There is a story that Elder Hugh B. Brown shares that talks about "The Currant Bush"  The gardener cuts and trims the bush and the bush gets angry with the gardener,
“How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” 
That was the point I had reached in my student teaching a few weeks ago (before Thanksgiving break and a little ways after).  Nothing was going right, I didn't like being cut down, I felt like I didn't deserve to be cut down, and I didn't (and couldn't) understand why God would have sent me here!  Of all of the places in the world why here!?  I could do much better things elsewhere!

Elder Brown continues in his story and says that the gardener responds to the little currant bush:
“Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’”

Here is where I am now!  I have made a difference in some of these students' lives!  How do I know?  I've seen it!  God has blessed me this last week to see how me being in Nampa has affected the people here.  And it varies from all of the students now saying "shmer shmer" to students coming to me with problems!  I have been God's hand here in Nampa!  I didn't go to school every day with the thought, "Alright, time to show these kid's who their Heavenly Father is!" and then go preach the gospel!  God knows that I have talents and abilities that could/would help these people here in Nampa.  And it hasn't just been teaching, it has been in my ward, in institute, and everywhere I have gone!  I have met some spectacular . . . nay, INCREDIBLE people!  You know how I feel about that word, I don't use it because of what it means to me.  But it is completely true in this case!!  God knew that some of the people in Nampa needed me, but I needed them!

I have learned so much from my friends and the experiences I have gone through here (the good and bad) and I wouldn't trade them for anything!  One of the things that stands out most to me in that story is what the gardener says to the currant bush, "I didn't intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree.  I want you to be a currant bush . . ."  God has a plan for all of His children.  He knows what we can be, and what we are!  I am not meant to be a fruit tree or a shade tree; God needs me as a currant bush!  That is how I can best serve Him!  Why did I have to come to Nampa?  Because I needed to grow more as a currant bush!

One of the reasons I decided to teach high school was because I remember trying to figure out who I was.  It was a hard time in my life emotionally and I wanted to be a person that kids that age could come talk to.  I am now that person!  I am helping people, I am loving people, I am being a currant bush!  I don't need to be anything else; I am a currant bush and I am happy being such!  And, you know what, I'm a dang good currant bush!!  :)  No, but seriously I am loving myself more and more every day because I understand that God has a plan for me!  I want to thank my gardener, for cutting me down.  All of the trials and hard times I've had this last semester have truly built me up and made me a better and stronger currant bush!

And so I say, "Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring about me enough to hurt me.  Thank you Mr. Gardener." :)