Come Thou Fount

Wow, today was really cool! Yesterday I was asked to sing in church today with a young lady in my ward. Yesterday we met for the first time and she wanted to sing "Come Thou Fount"; but she wanted to do an improv alto part. I don't have a lot of experience doing improv on the voice, but I told her I'd try it anyway. It was a very difficult rehearsal; in the end she decided that I would do better on the piano. I felt bad because I had come to the rehearsal with the intent to bare my testimony and accompany her testimony with mine. She asked me to write an arrangement before tomorrow. I was so bummed that she didn't feel that I was good enough to sing with her and that she thought I could write an arrangement in less than 24 hours. (Writing the arrangement in less than 24 hours, I was actually a little more flattered; but I was still panicked.)

Sunday morning came and I couldn't write the arrangement. I asked her if it would be alright if I tried singing with her again. I had figured out an alto part in case I couldn't write an arrangement and ended up singing with her. We tried it again, and right as we started I forgot the alto part I had written! I was devastated! I knew that if I didn't sing this well, she wouldn't let me sing with her and would put me back on the piano. We finished singing through it the first time and she replied "It was okay; I'll see what I can do with it." I felt a slight sigh of relief, but I was still bummed that she wasn't encouraging me to share my testimony. Anyway, we ended up practicing for a little bit and she told me at the end that if I "just thought up I would sound good." My testimony wasn't ever good enough for her no matter how hard I tried! It hurt me more and more that she was critiquing my testimony when my intent was to share it with the congregation. After we actually sang I looked at her and told her that she did a great job. She kind of rolled her eyes at me and moved on.

I called home, both Saturday and Sunday night, and cried to my parents about what had happened. Sunday night, I sat on the kitchen floor with a few of my roommates and my friend Devin and cried for about an hour. Monday was when I realized how wrong she was. Monday morning, when I woke up, I was thinking about not going to classes (especially my music classes). But, I knew my conscience would eat at my heart forever if I didn't. So, I went and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The class I really didn't want to go to was Collegiate; but I did go, and I am grateful I did. We're singing a song called "How Will They Know" from the children's songbook (arranged by Brother Kempton). As I sang, I felt the spirit so strongly that I couldn't help but cry. There was on particular section that truly touched me. The words go like this: "And with the Savior as our guide, I'll share the light I feel inside. And you will feel His love for you . . . And when I do not understand the Lord's command, I'll take your hand. And He will lead us safely home. I need your love, I need your light to show me how to be like Jesus. The Savior's love will light the path; and lead us safely home." It was so powerful!

I came out of that class feeling slightly foolish, but so much better about why I am studying music. My testimony has grown so much over this past week! I know that the Lord loves us and that He will lead us safely home. I know that some people will try to get you to hold your testimony inside and not share it. But I will never do that again! I regretted holding it in when we sang in sacrament meeting; NEVER again! I love the Lord with all of my heart, might, mind, and strength! I'm grateful for my trials that test my testimony. I come out a stronger person when that happens! I love BYU Idaho! The spirit and experiences I have here are wonderful! Hard sometimes, but wonderful!