'Tis a Gift to be . . .

I want to start off this post by baring testimony that God really does hear and answer our prayers. Even if it sounds "silly" to us, He cares and He answers. I was reading in my patriarchal blessing the other day and it talked about "talents and abilities" that I have. As I sat and read that, I noticed that it was plural. Well, the only thing that was coming to my mind was music. So, for the next few days I prayed that God would let me know what other talents and abilities I have so that I can start improving upon those.

A few days later, this was Wednesday night, I was talking to my friend Lindy. She is one of the greatest girls I know and I'm truly grateful for her friendship and the spirit that she carries with her! She asked me if, before I took my Light and Sound test, she could share some of her insecurities with me. Now, don't think I'm weird but I love listening to people's insecurities! It makes me feel like I can connect to them more knowing that they are human just like me! Not only that, but it gives me a chance to be selfless and help them through the spirit. As she told me about all of these insecurities she had I listened and followed the spirit to say what God would have me say.

At one point during the conversation she went upstairs (we were in the Snow building) to the vending machines, I followed. We sat in front of the vending machines as she continued to talk. In the middle of one of her thoughts she looked at me and said, "Thank you for being a good listener, that's a real gift." I was shocked for a moment; so much that I had her repeat what she said again. I looked up toward heaven and whispered "Thank you." I never thought of that as a gift! I got very gitty and excited and was just so happy that I could help!

I went and took my test (84%, woot!!!) and when I came home I started to clean up the living room. As I started I heard my name "Sarah Anderson!!!" I looked out our window and saw my friend Ben. I opened my door and started to talk to him for a minute. Before he left he shared with me a concern he had in his life. In my head I thought "Yes! I get to exercise my gift of listening!!!" He didn't know that, but it was exciting for me to know that this is a gift and I was now consciously going to practice. As he spoke I gave input when asked and just listened. Before he left he exclaimed "Thank you for being such a good listener!"

For those of you who have made it through this post, let me make something perfectly clear YOU HAVE GIFTS, TALENTS, AND ABILITIES!!!! It doesn't mean that you are a great singer, actor, artist, or anything like that. There are more to talents and gifts than just media; you could be a great "smiler", your smile brings people joy whenever they see you! You could be great at listening, cooking, understanding languages, laughing, and the list goes on! I challenge you to find talents, gifts, and abilities that you have and then exercise and start to use those gifts to help others. That's why we were given our gifts was so we could help others and bring them unto Christ. I know this is true! I'm so grateful for the talents and gifts that God has blessed me with, even the ones I don't know about! I look forward to finding out more about me and working at these gifts! =D

"Hold on thy way" D&C 122:9

Monday night I was at rehearsal for a choir I'm in (Viking Camarata). I had a question about one of my solo pieces, and so I asked Sheryl (my accompanist) if she'd be willing to listen to me and give me some pointers. So, after rehearsal we started heading into another room when my friend, Devin, asked where we were going. I told him that I had a question for Sheryl and she was going to help me with it.
"Are you going to sing?" He asked,
"Uh . . ."
"Yes she is!" Sheryl responded.
"Can I come listen?" Devin chimmed,
"Uh . . ."
"Of course, come on!" I immediately felt my heart rise into my throat as we walked down the hall to try to find another room (I was too shy and scared to do it in front of the people that were in the Recital Hall). None of the rooms were available. Devin suggested going back and singing in the Recital Hall. I told him that I didn't want to because there was other people in there. To shorten this story a little bit, I did end up singing in the Recital Hall. I'm not sure why I was scared to, but it literally made me sick afterward. My hands were shaking very fiercely and I could feel my stomach turning and tying itself into knots. I felt vulnerable, in a way that I hadn't felt in a long time. Even as I write this now, I can see how silly it was that I reacted the way that I did; however, I did and there's a lesson learned.

As I walked home, I tried to gain control over my hands and stomach, but the queasiness continued to get worse. When I finally got home I could feel myself fighting back tears of embarrassment and foolishness. (Now, I'll quickly add that I didn't sing terribly! In fact, I sang rather well; yet the feeling was still there). I went to bed shortly after, still feeling this sickness and overbearing sense of vulnerability. When I woke up the next morning, I felt like I was suffering from a "vulnerability hang-over" (the feelings that I felt the previous night had dragged into the morning). I didn't want to do anything, all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Of course, I didn't; I immediately got up and got ready to do scripture study with my roommate, Rebecca.

As I went throughout the day, I tried to push aside the feelings I was feeling (because in all honesty, it was quite ridiculous) but I couldn't. It came time for Devotional and I pulled out my scriptures so I could read a little bit before hand. I started reading for my Doctrine and Covenants class in section 122; a quick back story about this section, this is when Joseph Smith is in Liberty Jail and the Haun's Mill Massacre has happened. The Haun's Mill Massacre is possibly the bloodiest and worst thing that happened to the Saints; men were beaten, their skulls were smashed in by muskets, women were raped and killed, and children were raped and killed. It was so bad, that in D&C 123:10 it says that these events were "enough to make hell itself shudder . . . and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy." I was reading the section prior, but all of those things were happening. As I read verse ten of section 122 I was caught off-guard. At the end of the verse it says: "know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." Whenever I read my son, or thee, or thy I heard in my head Sarah. Never had a message been so clear to me before, this experience was for my good. I continued on, in verse eight I was reminded that the Savior descended below what I was currently feeling; I needed to turn to Him so He can help me and heal me. Finally the last thing that stood out to me was in verse nine: "hold on thy way" This trial wasn't going to last forever! Hold tight and obey the Lord in all that I do!

Now, the lesson I learned after reading this: I've picked one of, if not the most vulnerable major in the world! Music, when performed correctly, is giving a piece of your soul and heart to the audience. It is them sharing a piece of themselves with you, the audience. It isn't easy to perform in front of people, and I feel that I understand more fully why. Not only that, but it's the same thing in a voice lesson or audition. You share a piece of yourself with your teacher and they are to critique your singing. In short, this experience has helped me learn how to better connect with my students. I can't remember how many times I'd ask them, after they sang something, if they were nervous or scared! Well, of course they are! By realizing how vulnerable this situation is, I can help by not being harsh in my words, smiling, and purely recognizing how scary that really is. I commend all of the people out there who are taking voice lessons and are sharing themselves with their voice teacher. That being said, I realize it gets frustrating too. To that, I say "hold on thy way . . . for these experiences will be for thy good." (D&C 122: 7 and 9)

"The Journey May Be Long . . ."

This past week has been one of the craziest weeks of my life! But, it was a blast! Every day this past week I sang anywhere between 3-6 hours (I'm paying for it now, but I feel like it was totally worth it)! The reason I was singing so much was, primarily, because I had a concert on Friday. It was one of, if not THE, greatest concert I've ever participated in (this is excluding oratorios and Requiem's). It started off with the Viking Camarata singing; we sang "God Be In My Head" by Rutter, "Sleep" by Whitacre, and "At the Round Earth's Imagined Corners" by Parry. The most challenging was the Parry, but we pulled through and did it! I couldn't believe it, but we did. After we sang, most of the women had to change into our Collegiate attire, and so we ran off of the stage, pulled off our button-up shirts and threw on our "shawl" things. Fortunately, there wasn't anybody around because they would have seen our shoulders! Scandalous!!! ;) I was the first one changed and I ran over to the other side of the stage with my friend Cassandra right on my heels. As we ran, she said "We did it Sarah!!!" I couldn't help but smile.
Then, it was time for the Collegiate Singers to sing!! I was so excited! We started with "Bound for the Promised Land" and "Distant Lands" ("Distant Lands" was definitely one of my favorites in this entire concert). We then moved to our Night and Day set that had: "Nächtens" and "Cantique"in it. Then we moved to the Animal set, this one was the biggest hit (I feel) in the concert. We started with an a cappella jazz piece called Bumblebee and we then moved to "I Bought Me a Cat". The greatest thing about that piece was the choreography. I really wish I had a video to show you of us singing that . . . but I don't think there is one. I haven't found it if there is one. The audience got a kick out of it! We then moved to the final set; this set had to do with the heart. We started off by singing some satirical love songs called "Love Lost" and then sang "I Carry Your Heart". We closed our concert with "O, What Songs of the Heart". I absolutely loved this concert and for the opportunity I had to share the talents that God has blessed me with with others. The Collegiate Singers have been such a blessing in my life; one of the messages that I got from this concert is that, despite things that happen in our life we can make it to the promised land. "The journey may be long, no end in sight. There may be hills to climb, or giants to fight. But, if you take my hand we'll walk together toward the land of freedom." To tweek the lyrics a little bit, "but if you take God's hand, you'll walk together toward the land of freedom." If you walk with God, you can do anything.

"Hello Friend" ~Bill Cosby

What a fun weekend this has been! On Friday, one of my dear friends Logan came up for a visit. He got to visit Collegiate, which I hope he enjoyed, and then got to visit some of his other teachers. After I finished with Women's Choir, Logan, Cami and I went to lunch at Gator Jack's (if you're ever around one, go and get one of their sandwiches, they are amazing). It was great to catch up and reminisce a little bit! After that we went to the BYU-Idaho Center to give him a tour (he left before it was finished). Here are a couple of pictures (courtesy of BYU-Idaho Communications) of the gym and what it looks like from the choir seats looking out:

Courtesy of BYU-Idaho Communications

Courtesy of BYU-Idaho Communications

It was cool to take time to look around, it reminded me of how blessed I am to be going to a school where unity is so important. One of the primary reasons that this building was made was so we could all be in one location for devotionals every Tuesday. It's truly a blessing to feel that sense of unity and then carry that with us as we go about the rest of the week. Another great thing about the BYU-Idaho Center is the Carl Bloch paintings on the second floor. It shows Christ's life, in chronological order, and it's truly touching to see that!

After the tour we headed back to my place to figure out what we were going to do. I offered Logan my Cosby ticket (because I had homework and hadn't practiced yet) if he wanted to go. He decided to go to the temple instead (I think that's a great choice)! So, we still had to figure out what to do until then. In the end, we decided to go play on the pianos in the Snow building and just mess around a little bit. So, we did! We started off with Bring Him Home from the musical Les Miserables (he sang it incredibly well). He then stated that we needed a duet, but we didn't have any. So, we made it a piano duet instead. He played the left hand and I played the right hand! Possibly one of the funniest things ever! I really enjoyed seeing him again and spending some time with him!

After that, we went our separate ways (him to the temple, and me to Cosby). Before the show, I had the opportunity to talk to a sweet couple that was sitting next to me. The sister recognized me from the choirs on campus and we talked a little bit about music. They were both so sweet and they said that they might come to the Collegiate concert on Friday! I then spent the rest of my night laughing at Bill Cosby! He is rather comical! Here are some pictures from Cosby:

This is Apartment 206 after the Cosby Show (not the literal show)!

A Touching Graduation

This past week I had the blessed opportunity to return to my hometown, Heber, and see my little sister graduate from High School. At the very beginning, I remember feeling as if I was going through a little bit of culture shock. The last four graduations I've been to have been here at BYU-Idaho, which means there's a dress standard that is upheld and there is no cheering or yelling, just clapping. Needless to say, the high school was different. I saw girls in clothing that wasn't BYU-Idaho approved, and it took me a minute to remember that I wasn't there currently. There was clapping, cheering, yelling, and even some blow-horns and, again, it took me a minute to feel comfortable with doing the same. The language that was used by people around me (not my family) was very different than what I was used to hearing. I started to feel really uncomfortable before the ceremony even started (we were there about thirty minutes early) and it continued for the first little bit of the ceremony. (*This is a side note: It isn't that what these people were doing was bad or anything, I just wasn't use to it. So, I felt a little uneasy about it.)

Those uneasy feelings went away as the Co-Valedictorians began to speak. They talked about the things they learned in high school, but it wasn't curriculum. They learned about themselves, to love others, and their messages were very powerful; I felt the spirit very strongly as they spoke. Shortly after there was an Honorary Diploma given; this was one of the highlights of the graduation. A Senior, by the name of Kalem, passed away earlier this year (he was swimming in Deer Creek reservoir and drowned). Kalem was a fantastic young man, I had only met him a few times but he was very sweet. At graduation, the school board called Brother and Sister Franco up to give them Kalem's diploma. The room was silent as the school board talked about the diploma and about Kalem. As his parents came up and received the diploma, the hall burst out into applause (there was no cheering, yelling, or blow-horns). Brother Franco opened up the diploma and turned to the class of 2012; they began to applaud and stood up, the rest of the hall followed. It was very touching to see and to feel that spirit there.

Shortly after the choir got up to sing "The Long Winding Road" by the Beatles. First of all, it was beautifully performed! I, again, felt the spirit very strongly during that number. Second, Mr. Reynolds (the choir director) really loves what he does. As he turned around to sit back down in his seat I saw him fight back tears. I've never seen Mr. Reynolds get emotional, but it was very touching to see him that way. He truly loves his students.

I'm so proud of my little sister and for the accomplishments she has had. She is one of the most sincere people I've ever met; she has such a sweet spirit that not only shines through her actions, but also in her eyes. I've looked up to her a lot for multiple reasons, one of them being that she isn't afraid to be herself. She isn't afraid to try out new things, do what she loves, and be who she is. I admire that very much about her! Little Sisdre, I love you so much! Congrats on graduating!!! =D