It's ONLY 3.1 Miles

For the last nine weeks I have been preparing for my first ever 5k.  I have to tell you it was a difficult journey, but I am so grateful for how much I have learned from it.  I learned so much, I have decided to start training for a 10k.  I have received so much support for this race and am so grateful to everybody who supported me in it!  Here are some pictures/videos from the event:

 Lessons I learned from training/running:

1. Even a short run makes a difference.
1. There were so many days when I felt like not running at all.  But making that small effort to go every day and run even one mile helped me.
2. Nobody is perfect.
1. Even if I did miss a day of running it didn't mean it was the end of the world.  Yes the next run was a little harder, but I could still do it.  If you miss one day of running, don't let that stop you.  Pick-up the next day and just keep going.
3. Running is free therapy!
1. Life is stressful . . . pounding the pavement/treadmill helps. :)
4. Find somebody to hold you accountable.
1. I not only had my running buddy (who I desperately needed), but I also had my friends who were runners.  They had heard that I started running and would ask me how my runs were going.  I also had my school district.  We started a "Healthy Changes" program and I signed up for it.  I had to report to somebody in the district weekly to tell them how I did.  I felt foolish if I had to tell them I didn't run that day, so I made a point to do it.
5. Anybody can run.
1. I have never been one for running (unless it was in a sport).  But the more I ran the more I loved it.  I was the last person I ever thought would enjoy running.  I was that kid in high school who HATED running the mile and would pretend to be sick to get out of running it (*Note for the kids reading this, it doesn't work.  You will still have to run it eventually).  My fastest mile in high school was 14:13.  Now, my fastest mile is 10:42. So, if I can run YOU most definitely can run!

This change has been such a blessing and improvement in my life!  I feel better emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually.  My mind is clearer and quicker!  I'm excited to see how much longer I can go with this!

Jesus Said Love Everyone

"Jesus said love everyone."
     ~Primary Song

I have received about twelve Facebook messages from people over the last few weeks bringing up two pictures I was in.  Due to this high number (and lack of time to message each individually), I have decided to write a blog post answering questions about these two pictures.  Let me show them to you:

Neither of these pictures are bad.  Heck, I feel like we look pretty good!  We look so into what we are doing!

The main thing that people keep e-mailing me about is that this was at a Boise Gay Men's Chorus rehearsal.  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, some people know the people of the church as Mormons.  I had people tell me that I was sinning by being at the rehearsal.  It has been brought up again since I have changed my profile picture to say "I am a Mormon".  I was/am being told that I was rebelling against God by going to that practice.  And this is where I want my address to begin.

I want to say, first and foremost, that that is simply not true.  My stance on marriage is that it is "ordained of God" and that He intended it to be "between a man and a woman".  I do not agree with the same-sex marriage lifestyle.  However, that does not mean that I cannot love people who live that lifestyle.

The awesome young man whom I am sitting next to in both of these pictures is one of my best friends.  We worked together at Skyview while I was student teaching and I have to tell you that he is one of the finest young men I have ever met.  He had sent me a message earlier that day inviting me to their rehearsal that night.  They were just about to go on a tour so this was a "practice performance".   I gladly accepted the invitation!  I love listening to a good men's chorus; and they sounded amazing!  When I got there he asked if I would be willing to turn pages for him, so I did!

I did not go to the performance and say that I support same-sex marriage or those kinds of actions.  I went to a performance to support my friends and listen to good music.  There is no sin there.

The second thing that is being mentioned is this question: "Doesn't your church teach that all people who are gay are bad people?"  My response to that is this:

No!

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints I do not hate people who are gay, nor have I ever been taught that in my life!  We are taught to love all of God's children and strive to help bring them closer to Him.  I can't do that if I "hate them".

Ever since I was a little girl I have had the gift of loving.  I sometimes feel that it was because I was kind of the "odd duck" in school and often times felt left out and alone.  I think that those experiences as a child helped me gain a better understanding on how to love people despite their actions, interests, religion, or sexuality.  It actually got me into some trouble because people would use my kindness and love to manipulate me.  The primary song "I Am a Child of God" resonated deep within me, not because I would sing it about myself, but about everybody else.  Whenever I sang that song, I thought of everybody around me.  I know that everybody is a child of God, despite the mistakes we have made, will make, or are making.  There is nothing we can do to change our divine heritage!  You are a child of God.

In 3 Nephi 27:27 Christ says, "What manner of men ought ye to be?  Verily I say unto you, even as I am."  If I am wanting to follow in Christ's footprints then I must love everybody.  We were not commanded to "love just those who have the same standards as you" or "just love those that are nice to you".  We are commanded to "love one another as I have loved you".

Loving somebody does not mean that I have to agree with everything they say or do.  Think about when you were a teenager and made decisions that your parents didn't support.  Did that stop them from loving you?  No!

Elder Oaks, in an interview with Public Affairs, was asked what the proper response would be if you were in this situation:
"Let's say my 17-year-old son comes to talk to me and, after a great deal of difficulty trying to get it out, tells me that he believes that he's attracted to men--that he has no interest and never has had any interest in girls.  He believes he's probably gay.  He says that he's tried to suppress these feelings. . . He just feels he can't live what he thinks is a lie any longer, and so he comes in this very upset and depressed manner.  What do I tell him as a parent?"
Elder Oak's response is beautiful.  He says, "You're my son.  You will always be my son, and I'll always be there to help you."  (Dec. 12, 2012; "Same Gender Attraction").

It is my personal testimony that everybody is a child of God.  He loves each and every one of you.  There are no exceptions.  If I want to someday be like my Heavenly Father, why not start now?  I pray that this blog answered some, if not all, of the questions that people had about my stance on this issue.

If you want to learn more you can go to:
www.lds.org
www.mormon.org  or
www.mormonsandgays.org
All of these websites will answer any other questions you have.

The church also just released this statement:

"The succession of federal court decisions in recent months, culminating in today’s announcement by the Supreme Court, will have no effect on the doctrinal position or practices of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which is that only marriage between a man and a woman is acceptable to God. In prizing freedom of conscience and Constitutional guarantees of the free exercise of religion, we will continue to teach that standard and uphold it in our religious practices.

Nevertheless, respectful coexistence is possible with those with differing values. As far as the civil law is concerned, the courts have spoken. Church leaders will continue to encourage our people to be persons of good will toward all, rejecting persecution of any kind based on race, ethnicity, religious belief or non-belief, and differences in sexual orientation." (Oct. 6, 2014)

Solid Ground

"There are times when we have to step into the darkness in faith, confident that God will place solid ground beneath our feet once we do." ~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

One of the things I love to do in my spare time is look up inspirational quotes from different religious leaders.  This one really resonated with me as I reflect on the miracle that happened to me last night.

I have been living in Nampa a little over a month now, but moving here was not easy for me.  It took a lot of money to move up here and so my finances have been incredibly tight.  I didn't get paid in August, so I knew I was going to have to wait until September.  Well, at the beginning of September I was down to $30.00 in my account.  I don't get paid until the 25th of each month, so I knew I had to be really careful.  So, I made a plan!  I would not spend more than $13.00 on food at the grocery store and the rest I would use for gas money.

First week was easy!  I felt like I was really going to make it.  The second week came and I realized that I hadn't accounted for the fact that I would be driving to Boise a lot that week.  As the needle in my car slowly moved down closer to the "E" I started to get more and more nervous.  I used the last $17.00 to fill my car up a little more than half way of gas.  I could feel the stress and I had an internal war with myself.  I didn't want to have to go to my parents.  My Dad was incredibly kind and actually paid my first month of rent for me and then went out and helped me buy my groceries that first week.  I didn't want to go to him and ask if he could spare $15.00 (though I knew he would do anything to help me).  Call it my "adult pride", but I didn't want to ask.  So, instead, I prayed.  I have been working like crazy at school and I know the paycheck will come in on the 25th, but it was a matter of surviving until then.

It wasn't even the food that concerned me, it was the gas!  Melba is about 16+ miles away from where I live.  I don't have a bicycle and, even if I did, I doubt that I would start riding to school in the skirt!  I really had no other source of income, and I didn't know what to do.  I continued to pray and ask Heavenly Father what I could do to hear a few quick dollars.  There were ads everywhere about how to "earn cash quick", but they were things like giving away jewelry and things like that.

Last night I went to a CES (Church Education System) Fireside that was given by Elder D. Todd Christofferson.  One of the things that he talked about was putting God first in our lives.  As I have lived here I have done my best to put Him first: studying my scriptures, praying, paying tithing, and even going to the temple every week.  But as I listened, I realized I could do better.  I made a resolution right then to strive to do better.  I set goals, wrote them down, and immediately went to work when I got home.  Before I went to bed I started studying for my Sunday School lesson in a couple of weeks.  As I was reading I had this feeling that I needed to look at my phone.  I tried to push that thought out of my mind because I was striving to put God first and I didn't want to be distracted.  The feeling came again, but a little stronger.  I, once again, pushed it aside and thought to myself, "Sarah, you have a problem!  You can't go two minutes without looking at your phone!?"

Finally the third time, the feeling was so strong I could not resist.  I picked up my phone and looked.  I had a missed message from my Dad.  I listened and he informed me that I had gotten something in the mail from the BYU-Idaho Bursar's office.  I felt my stomach tighten as I listened; that office has to do with finances.  I haven't been a student for about a year and I was worried that they were going to ask for money from me.  My Dad asked me to text him if I wanted him to open it.  I asked him too and he sent me this message back:  "It is a $75 housing refund from BYU Idaho.  If you still have your account at America First Credit I can put it in tomorrow if you want."

Tears immediately started to flow down my cheeks as I read that great miracle!  I couldn't believe that a year after leaving Rexburg I was just now getting a check for money.  But it is enough money for me to survive (gas and food) until I get my first paycheck.  Like President Uchtdorf says, sometimes we have to "step into the darkness in faith"  and believe that "God will place solid ground beneath our feet".

God's hand is truly in our lives; He is aware of each of our individual needs.  You might be able to hide your true feelings and stresses from people around you, but you can NEVER hide them from the Lord.  He places little "tender mercies", as Nephi calls them, in our lives every day.  Some are big and some are small, but they are always there.  I challenge you to take a step into the darkness and let God place that solid ground beneath you.  He is there, and He loves you!

Lessons for a First Year Teacher

This post if more for me, but feel free to read it if you want!

God is truly amazing!  Straight-up, He just is!  I speak so much to others about how His hand is always in our lives and how He blesses us with little "tender mercies" and so on.  But, there are times in our life when literally nothing goes right!  There are times in our life when we just want to throw in the towel and quit.  That is totally normal!!!  Despite my reputation of always being happy, I have those days too!  This past week has been full of them and last night was just the icing on top!

(I don't want to go in to detail about what happened this week because you, as a reader, will still gain from this message if you don't know everything.)  Last night I came home feeling professionally inferior, foolish, and completely alone (despite the fact that I was not).  I drove the long drive home at 10:00pm and just cried.  I asked Heavenly Father to come sit in the car with me and I just talked to Him.  I had this feeling that I needed to turn the "Do Not Disturb" off on my phone.  I pulled over and reached down to turn it off and I saw that I had a voicemail and missed call from the principle.    I listened and the first thing I heard was this,

"Hey Sarah, I just wanted to let you know that the band did a great job tonight . . ."
My little tears became a sob as I recognized that as a small tender mercy for me.

I continued the drive and when I got home I saw that the gates were closed for my apartment complex.  They have been doing work on it so I knew that my original code wouldn't work.  They gave us a temporary password and I proceeded to use that.  Now, here is a side-note--I had never used this before and so I followed the directions on the panel.  No matter what I did it would not open the gates.  At that moment, the only thing running through my head was "I really don't need this right now!"  I wanted to flick somebody in the eye, I was so angry!

After me standing there and feeling stupid for about five minutes somebody else pulled up behind me.  I asked them if they knew anything about the passcode and they knew less than I did (we are both pretty new).  Then somebody else pulled up, they were also new.  None of us could figure it out!  At about 10:50 we finally got help and they told us that we didn't have to follow the panel, we just typed in the number.  I had never rolled my eyes so hard in my life!!!!!!!  The feeling of foolishness started to overpower my anger when I had the feeling to look around.  There were five other people standing outside with me that knew just as much or less then I did!

As silly as this sounds, I recognized that I am not alone.  We all have struggles that we are going through, and though some of them are the same we all have different experiences leading up to it.  Their experience at the gate was different from mine because we all had different things happen to us that evening.  I immediately went to bed because I was just done.

This morning I woke up still feeling pretty hurt from last night.  I had a meeting this morning that was in Meridian, so I got up and got ready for that.  I decided that I would spend the day in Boise (which is where I currently am; rehearsal tonight!) so that I could save on gas.  I arrived at the meeting and was greeted by one of the choir directors that I just adore!  His name is Ron and he just rocks!  I didn't think he would remember me because I didn't work with him that much, but he did!  I ran in to David, Andy, and of course my friend Joie!  She was so sweet and bought me hot chocolate from Dutch Bros, another tender mercy!

Throughout the meeting started I had the opportunity to meet a lot of other choral and band directors.  One of them happened to be from Melba.  I teach his daughter choir and he told me to start working on his son!  He told me that he heard about what happened the night before and said that I needed to keep my chin up.  I was doing great things for Melba and my personality was contagious!  I put on my best smile and thanked him for what he said.  He and another gentleman offered their assistance if I ever needed anything.  I told them I would use it and then we parted ways.

I then talked with Joie about everything that happened and asked her what I should do.  This is one of the biggest things I learned:  it is okay to feel hurt and sad!  Silly, right?  I was trying so hard to force this happiness and feeling that there was something that I needed to learn from all of this.  But I wasn't letting myself feel through the emotion that I naturally needed to feel.  Yes, I still hurt now.  But I am feeling through it!  It will affect me for a little bit, and that is okay!  So long as I don't let it stop me from doing what I need to do!

I am reminded of what my friend and tutor, Eli, told me once: "You have too much to do to let this get you down."  And he, as always, is right!  I do have too much to do to let this stop me.  Does that mean I can't feel poorly about it?  No!  Does that mean that I have to go eat a carton of Ben and Jerry's ice cream?  No!  I have too much to do!  These kids need me and, to be honest, I need them!

My lessons:

• It is okay to be hurt and sad, just don't let it completely control you!
• I am making a difference.
• "Sarah remember, you have too much to do to let this get you down."

Dream, Seek, Achieve--New Beginnings

     I have been really bad about writing these last few months, to which I say I am so, so sorry.  EFY left me beyond exhausted at the end of the week, so I didn't really write much.  But I just finished a post that I had been working on for a few weeks about EFY.  So there you go.

   
     My life has changed so much within the last few weeks and I just want to talk about how.  I started this blog as a journal type of thing.  I'll be the first to admit that I am terrible about writing in my journal!  But I want to get better at it!  Journals, I feel, show how you travel that "Journey of 1,000 miles".  You can't do it immediately; I can travel one foot by taking one step, but 1,000 miles?  Forget about it!  But that is what makes life so great!  Those 1,000 miles in life happen one step at a time.  When we write and record thoughts in our journals it is us recording another step that we have taken.

     The most recent step I have taken has been moving to Idaho to start my career as a music teacher.  It has been kind of scary because I don't really know the school, I don't really know many people in Nampa, and I have felt incredibly alone these past few weeks.  But, the Lord has blessed me more than I could have ever hoped for!  He has protected me, He has sent me tender mercies that have made me laugh throughout the day, He has blessed me with wonderful students who are excited to learn, and so many other things!  I want to share just a couple of experiences in particular that I have had that have truly touched my heart.

     During one of  the teacher work-days I was sitting in an Elementary teachers classroom.  Her room was so colorful and it was just decorated so well!  After the meeting I went in to my classroom that smelled awful and looked dull and gray.  I immediately felt overwhelmed by all of the work I would have to do in order to make my room look "cute and colorful".  It was one of those feelings of "There is so much to do, but where to start?"  I vacuumed my room and then went home to figure out lessons for the next week.  I stopped by Wal-Mart to pick up colored printer paper (yes I am that cheap) and sparkly letters that would spell out "MUSIC".  As I was standing in line I felt as if my head would explode from all of the pressure I was feeling (that I was putting on myself).  Just as I was feeling this a family came in the line behind me.  The father asked "Is that where you went to school?"  I looked down at my shirt that said BYU-Idaho on it.  I nodded and forced a smile, "Yes sir, I did."
  "Oh that is neat!  I went to BYU Provo.  Are you from here?"
  "No, I'm from Heber actually.  I just moved here for a teaching job."
  "Oh you're a teacher?  What do you teach?"
  "Music, K-12."
  "First year?",  again I nodded.  He proceeded, "I just want you to know that you don't have to be perfect your first year.  I'm not sure why we, as teachers, think that we have to always be perfect.  We don't!"
  "You are a teacher too?  What do you teach?"
  "I am a Physical Science and Engineering professor at College of Western Idaho."  We proceeded to talk as he guided me and reassured me that my first year would not be perfect.  He also told me to just be me as I teach.  I thanked him for all of his advice and he gave me his card in case I ever wanted to talk and we went our separate ways.  I turned around and saw a rainbow, the second one I had seen that day, above the Wal-Mart.  I felt all of the stress and pressure just release from within me.  Did I still have my worries and my "to-do list"?  Absolutely!!  Was I still stressing about it, not as much.  God knew that Professor Pack would be at that store and prepared him to say the things that I needed to hear.  I am so grateful that Professor Pack followed the Spirit and opened his mouth.  He put a first year teacher at ease!

As the school year has started and I have officially finished my first two weeks I am feeling more and more comfortable where I am.  I am getting to know my students and am being guided by the Lord on how I can build the program here!  Every day has its challenges, but I continue to lean on God and smile!

"There's always a rainbow after rain." ~Silver Lining

Let the teaching, begin!! (After my first Pep Band Game Aug. 29)

Things I Learned From EFY

This past summer I had the incredible opportunity to work as an EFY counselor!  EFY stands for Especially For Youth and is a camp put on through BYU that helps bring youth closer to Christ.  There are a lot of activities that happen within the week, like: classes, dances, Games Night, Gospel study, and so many others!  Everything I see the letters EFY though, I don't think Especially For Youth.  I have started thinking Especially For You.  The youth that were in my groups, the counselors that I worked with all of these people truly touched my life and changed it for the better.  It wasn't just meant for the youth, it was meant for me.

Because I am crazy late in posting anything about EFY I have decided to dedicate a post to the main principles that the Spirit taught me whilst I was at EFY.

1. Do not compare yourself to others--Provo1B (Training Week)

      The very first EFY meeting I had this was the first thing they said to us, "Dare not to compare."  I was new at this job!  Sure I have worked with youth before, but not in a setting like this!  I was scared and I didn't know what I was doing, so I automatically compared myself to others.  You know what I learned from comparing myself to others? Nothing!

      It is true!  The only thing I learned was that they were really good at something and I wasn't as good.  It made me feel hopeless and like I wasn't the right person for the job.  It kept me from looking at the good I was already doing, from the things that I do really well.

      Instead of having the mentality of "I will never be as good as                         ."  Be grateful for their strengths, and then recognize your own.

2. "We hear about the dangers of distracted driving, but what about the dangers of distracted living?"

     This quote comes from my favorite EFY video!  We hear so much about how dangerous it is to drive while doing other things like: texting, eating, doing make-up, etc.  Yet we don't hear so much about how important it is for us to live in the moment.  Instead of letting your mind be so focused on what has happened, or what could happen, focus on what is happening right now.  Satan does not need to get you to participate in a "big sin".  All he needs to do is distract you from what you should be doing.
     The last week of EFY we were playing the game Killer Frog.  The youth sit in a circle and there are several killer frogs chosen (only the killer frogs know they are killer frogs).  There is a detective standing in the middle who has to figure out who the killer frogs are.  While the detective is looking around and trying to figure out who they are, the killer frogs are sticking their tongues out at others in the circle killing them.  Through my ten weeks at EFY I had never been killed!  I was determined to make it out alive again this last time!  As I kept my focus on the detective I saw somebody wave behind them.  I looked down and died.  It was the killer frog and he had gotten me!  I couldn't believe it!  I was so focused on the detective (Christ) and yet the killer frog (Satan) still got me.  All because I got distracted!  Satan works the same way; if he can distract us from following Christ and continuously being fixed on Him, then he has the chance to win.
     We need to keep our eyes continuously fixed on Christ "at all times, in all things, and in all places.".

3. "Can't Stop Me From Being Resurrected!"--Orem Stay-at-Home 2
     I had the incredible opportunity to meet Brother Jason Robbins during the Orem SAH 2 Session that I worked.  Brother Robbins is a seminary teacher and an amazing one at that!  I had the opportunity to conduct for one of his classes on Wednesday.  The class was called "Living the Reality of the Resurrection".
     Now, I have to tell you a little bit about Brother Robbins; he is one of the funniest and happiest people I have ever met in my life!  When I met him the first day I made a point to call him by name.  The next two days, whenever we saw each other we were calling each other by name!  As I went in to conduct for his class he came in and was bubbly, just like he always ways.  A few minutes into our conversation his energy seemed to lessen significantly.  I looked up at him and asked him what was wrong.  He told me that he had invited his parents to come watch this final class because they had never seen him teach.  But his father had some illnesses and surgeries recently and wasn't well enough that day to come.  I listened to him talk about his father and could feel the love that he had for his family.  I weakly smiled and told him I was sorry they couldn't be here.  This is where I learned my lesson.  Brother Robbins looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face and said, "Well, can't stop him from being resurrected!"
     I must have given him a confused face because he started explaining what he meant.  "Sarah, we made a choice long ago, before the world even began, to follow God and come to Earth.  All of the people on this Earth made that same choice.  Because we made that choice, we get to keep our body forever!  No matter what we do in this life, we will all be resurrected.  So what is the point of always worrying?  It can't stop you from being resurrected."  He is right!  Everybody that has lived, is living, and will live on this Earth made the choice to follow Christ before we came here.  Which means we will all be resurrected.  We have bad days, we have days when things don't go well, we make mistakes, and so on.  But all of these things can't stop you from being resurrected, from overcoming physical death.

4. YOLF--Orem SAH2
     This was something I learned in that same class with Brother Robbins.  So, really this should be 3A, but whatever!  Brother Robbins, when talking about the resurrection, said, "YOLO should be YOLF: You Only Live Forever!"  People try to reason things out by saying, "Well, you only live once!"  That is stupid!!  We have our whole life here on Earth to experience joy, sorrow, success, grief, happiness, and pain.  We not only have this life, but we have the next!  Remember, "Can't stop you from being resurrected!"  We have life after death!  You don't only live once, You Only Live Forever!

5. Feast upon the fruit of Christ/Build an Unshakeable Testimony--Orem SAH2
     One of my favorite things to study and read is Lehi's vision in 1 Nephi 8.  In this vision Lehi sees the tree of life.  There is an iron rod that leads straight to the tree, but there is also "a large and spacious field" (v. 9), "a river near the tree" (v. 13), "a mist of darkness" (v. 23), and "a great and spacious building" (v. 26).  Lehi partakes of the fruit and describes it like this: "I did go forth and partake of the fruit thereof; and I behold that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted . . . the fruit thereof was white to exceed all the whiteness that I had ever seen.  And as I partook of the fruit thereof it filled my soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore I began to be desirous that my family should partake of it also . . ." (v. 11-12).
     So he turns and sees his family and calls them to come to the tree.  Sariah (Lehi's wife), Sam, and Nephi (two of his sons) all grabbed the rod and came and partook of the fruit.  But Laman and Lemuel (Lehi's other two sons) "would not come unto me and partake of the fruit."  Then Lehi saw many other people that I put into four groups.

1. This group wandered away from the iron rod and were lost.
2. This group was "clinging to the rod of iron"  and "after they had partaken of the fruit of the tree they did cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed." There were people in the great and spacious building that were mocking them, so these people left the fruit of the tree.
3. This group "came and caught hold of the end of the rod of iron; and they did press their way forward, continually holding fast to the rod of iron, until they came forth and fell down and partook of the fruit of the tree."
4. This group sought out the great and spacious building.

     The group that always bothered me was the second group!  They had tasted of the goodness of the fruit, the tasted that same thing that Lehi had!  Why would they let the people in the great and spacious building mock them away from it.  Do those people in the building have nothing else to do?  Is there not a pool table or something in there to entertain them instead of mocking those who strive to follow Christ?  I didn't understand, and couldn't understand, how that happened!  Then, Brother Hank Smith answered my question.

     I've had this question 10+ years, and I finally have an answer!  The scriptures say that "After they had tasted of the fruit they were ashamed, because of those that were scoffing at them; and they fell away . . ."  They had only tasted of the fruit.  When you taste something you get a small sample of what it is like.  It could be the most delicious thing in the world, but if you only have a taste you are sure to forget it eventually!  Brother Smith took us to Alma 32:42 where it says: " . . . and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst."

     That was the difference!  Lehi along with the third group feasted on the fruit of the tree.  The continued to eat and hold on to it.  We are expected to do the same!  There are people out there in the great and spacious building who will mock you for worshiping God and following His commandments.    If it hasn't happened to you yet, it will.  So we must learn for ourselves what is true.  "A person with an experience is never at the mercy of a person with an opinion."

     Build an unshakeable testimony and feast on the fruit of Christ.

6. The Spirit of Nauvoo--Nauvoo1

     I feel as thought Nauvoo in and of itself was a journey for me.  There is this incredible and beautiful spirit that is there!  It is kind of like BYU-Idaho in that I cannot describe it to you.  But, I want to testify of a few of the things that I learned whilst I was there.  I took our Session Director, Brother McMullen's, challenge that he gave all of the counselors and the youth at the very beginning of the week.  "As you go through Nauvoo, make sure Nauvoo goes through you."  But Nauvoo didn't go through me, because I still have it with me.

     What I learned in Nauvoo is that I can take that spirit that I feel there with me everywhere I go!  I'm not just talking about the amazing memories that I had there.  I am taking my testimony of the prophet Joseph Smith, of temples and the work that happens within them.  I am taking my testimony of enduring to the end, I am living those testimonies and I won't stop!  These Saints had every reason, Joseph had every reason to look up at God and quit!  They went through so many hardships, so many trials, and they didn't deserve it!  And yet they pressed forward, continuously relying on the Lord.  When things got bad, they turned to God and asked for help and God heard them.

     You and I are no different in our lives!  We all have our own "Nauvoo" experiences where everything seems to fall apart and things aren't going how we expect.  We also have times in our lives when we have such immense joy and success.  When we can see God's hand in our life and we see great reason to rejoice!  It is during those trials though that we need to rely on the Lord, that we remember our testimony of God's love for ALL of His children.  That love, that peace, that joy that comes from that knowledge is what helps us endure to the end.  Knowing that all bad days come to an end, and that Christ is walking right beside you.

     While I was at the Visitor's Center in Nauvoo I had an interesting thought about Jesus Christ and his suffering on the cross.  Christ was pierced in three places: hands, feet, and side.  Each of those places represent what Christ does for us.  Christ succors, or runs to, His people (feet), His arms are outstretched still (hands/wrists), and He is always by your side.  Walk with God, because whether you are aware of it or not, He walks with you.  You are not alone.

This is quite a long post.  There are so many other things that I learned about this past summer and I have so loved all of the experiences that I have had.  I want to share my testimony that I know Christ lives!  Because He lives, I can and will live again.  Because He lives, I can be with my incredible family forever.  I know that Joseph Smith truly did see Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that beautiful spring morning.  I know that God loves all of His children; I know that you are not forgotten.  Even during those times when you feel like nobody cares or that you don't matter, He is there.  I know that because Christ gave His life, I can regain mine.  I can repent of all of my sins and return back home with my Heavenly Father.  I know that I am a daughter of God.  I extend this invitation to you: if you made it all the way through this post, one good on you because it is really long!  But I invite you to ask God for yourself.  I promise that God will answer your questions, it may not be in the time or in the way that you expect, but He will answer you.  If you don't feel anything at first, don't stop!  Remember that we must feast on Christ's fruit, not just taste it.  Pray with an open mind and open heart and be willing to wait if God needs you to.  I promise that He will answer you.

". . . Shall [I] not go on in so great a cause?"

Pay Day Came Twice This Week!

Boy, I have been really bad about writing!  But, I have to talk about my amazing experience this past week here at EFY!  For those of you that don't know, EFY stands for "Especially For Youth".  It is a religious camp that brings youth together from all over the world for a week.  During that week they participate in games, group activities, dances, a variety show, as well as morning sides, musical firesides, and testimony meetings.  The objective of EFY is to "strengthen youth in their commitment to live the gospel of Jesus Christ by providing inspiring, edifying learning opportunities and wholesome social experiences."  The ages of the participants range from 13-18 years of age.  The participants come in on Monday and then leave early (7:30am) on Saturday.  So, I get to spend my summer bringing youth to Christ!

This last week was my first week as a counselor (last week I was being trained).  I was in the biggest section for this week!  We had about 1,100 participants just in our section!  There were two other sections and I'm not sure how big they were.  In my company we had four counselors (total) and about forty participants; the three other counselors and I both did our training last week.  However, we all got along incredibly well and had a blast this last week.

I have to say, this week started really rough.  I was feeling a lot of stress because I had a job interview, this was my first week as a counselor, being offered the job I had just had an interview for, I was (and am) tired, and I wasn't sure if I was going to bring these participants closer to God or not.  By the second day (Tuesday) I was so completely overwhelmed because I had so much on my mind and plate that I was having a hard time feeling the spirit.  Not only that, but I felt like I wasn't clicking with everybody in my company.  When I imagined myself as an EFY counselor, I always saw myself connecting with EVERYBODY in my company.  I learned this week that that won't always be the case the first few days.  But, by the end of the week, they will love you and appreciate the things you did for them.

I ended up accepting the job and am now planning on moving to Nampa, Idaho after EFY is finished.  However, the stress continues to build as I try to find an apartment and get everything together for work.  But whatever comes this summer, I know the Lord is in the details.

EFY Games Night--Provo 2A with Mogapi (mo-ha-pi)

EFY Games Night--Provo 2A with Mogapi

Mogapi is I believe Swahili for "conquer" 

Mogapi Provo 2A

Me with my girls!

Pizza Night! I am pretty sure that I am not going to like pizza by the end of this summer!

Pizza Night!

Stairwell Selfie (it's an EFY thing)! :)

Draper Temple Trip

My mind is so scatter-brained about this whole experience, so I'm having a hard time putting into words what has happened! So, if this post seems scattered . . . it is because it is! :)

I had the beautiful opportunity today to go through the Draper temple and receive my endowments. I wish I could share with you everything that happened because of the power and spirit that I felt. However, due to the sacredness of this experience (and my lack of memory, there was a lot of stuff) I can only share some things.

One of the things that I want to share is actually an experience I had that confirmed my knowledge of God's awareness of me. Yesterday morning I was subbing for a class that was really hard for me! I couldn't believe the stress and frustration I felt after I came out of that classroom. I was legitimately angry (and that very rarely happens)! As I walked out of the school I started saying a prayer in my heart asking God to help me feel happy again (I don't like being mad or frustrated). I waited a moment before a laugh burst from my mouth! Nothing had happened, nobody had done or said anything funny, I just started laughing. I'm sure if anybody was around me they would have thought that I was a complete psychopath. I laughed all the way to my car; I'll tell you what, laughing usually makes things better! This story is important to the experience I had in the temple.

I had the opportunity at one point to wait in the Bride's Room. There were some scriptures on the table, so I grabbed them and decided to let them fall open and I would just start reading. The scriptures fell open to Doctrine and Covenants 121:7-8. It reads: 

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;  And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes." 

I chuckled to myself and showed my Mom the scripture. She laughed with me because she knew how I was feeling about that class and the experience I had had with them. The part in the scriptures that stood out to me the most was "...if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high ..." I knew that God was blessing me for enduring that small trial well. It was a sweet tender mercy!

Another sweet moment was just having the opportunity to go through and have my Mom be my escort (so she was with me whole time and helping guide me to what I was supposed to do) and then my Dad there with me too! During part of the session we watch a movie that talks about the creation. Dad was saying that he loved watching me during the movie because I would react to whatever was happening on screen. I'm probably really hilarious to watch during movies!

I want to express how I felt as I came out of the temple that day. There was a whirlwind of things that happened when I was in there (for me, who had never gone through before it felt like a lot). And yet through it all the Spirit was there! I felt so incredible when I came out! The first few words that came to my mind were: pure, peaceful, complete, clean, and blessed. I absolutely love the temple and for the opportunity I had to make those sacred covenants with God. I am grateful for His love and His hand in my life! He truly does love all of His children. I am grateful that I do not have to be perfect in life, because Heaven knows I am so not perfect! But God allows me to repent and have my sins washed away! I love Him and am grateful for the sacrifice of His Son, my brother, Jesus Christ! I love Him with all of my heart.

I am sorry that this post doesn't even touch a lot of my experiences in the temple. I am afraid I am not very good at putting experiences like this into words. It is easier for me to verbalize it than write it (but it would still be all over the place).

Eating at Water Moon before going to the Temple

Mine and Mom's Fortunes! :)

Pre-Session

Post-Session

This picture makes me laugh, because we were all laughing!

The Ultimate Conductor

I have a . . . unique mind.  My mind connects so many odd--and seemingly--unrelated topics together.  Today was no different, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you because it added a different perspective of my relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In Sunday school today we were in Chapter 8 of the Joseph Fielding Smith manual.  There was one particular quote that got my mind going!  This is what it says: "[God] chooses men and call them to be instruments in his hands to accomplish his purposes, and he guides and directs them in their labors."  My mind immediately tuned out the rest of what was being said as this following thought formed in my mind: "God is the ultimate conductor!"

Yes, I mean a choir/orchestra/band conductor!  A few of you are probably laughing or saying things like, "You would!" To that, I laugh right along with you and say: "Yes, I would and I did!"  But let me explain how cool this is!

To do this, however, I must introduce the "cast" and what their role is:

• Conductor: God and Jesus Christ
• A music conductor teaches the musicians about the piece. They guide the rehearsals and the young musicians to how they should sing/play. They put in countless hours coming up with ways to help their ensemble grow and become the best they can be!  A conductor is also a musician, just like those he/she is directing. In fact, the conductor was once sitting where the young musicians currently are. However after experience, growth, and particular choices they have become the conductor of the ensemble.
• Section Leaders: Prophets, Apostles, Stake Presidents, and Bishops
• A section leader is somebody whom the conductor usually picks within a section (flute, trumpet, soprano, tenor, violin, etc.) to be a leader within that section. They listen for particular problems within the section and then address it to the conductor, who then gives direction on how to fix the problem. They are the eyes and ears amongst the young musicians for the conductor. If there is a problem within the section, the section leader takes it to the conductor and asks what they can do to help solve the issue. And vice versa; if the conductor hears an issue amongst a section he/she will take it to the section leader and give guidance on how to fix the issue.
• The Young Musicians: Everybody
• This group is made up on all sorts of people!  There are people who attend church regularly, there are people who do drugs, there are people who suffer from depression, there are people who are living paycheck to paycheck, there are people who are perfectly happy where they are, there are those who want to be there, and there are those who are being forced by their parents to be there. However,  every individual is important.  Each has a unique gift to offer that helps magnify the group. These musicians must practice, listen, and be willing to learn and try new things in order to progress to become the best they can be.

Now, a little lesson about instruments, they cannot fulfill their purpose without an outside force.  Sure they could make a great paperweight or be a beautiful decoration, but that is not the instruments function.  If I had a trombone and I wanted it to make music I couldn't just sit it on the chair and say "Play something for me!"  Well, I guess I could, but nothing would happen.  I would have to sit down and blow into it to make just a noise come out.  That is where the conductor comes in once again!  The conductor teaches me how to play, where to play, and then lets me experiment and practice.  He teaches me my role within the ensemble and then I go to work and the growth begins.

When we are called by God it is because He sees our potential and our gifts.  He knows that our talents, personalities, and even experiences can help build people around us.  So, He puts us in situations where we can share those strengths with others.  Sometimes God puts us in places where we are so uncomfortable and are not sure what we are doing.  That is when He sends others--with their talents and abilities--to us.  They help teach us, uplift us, and edify us.

We all have the same goal, to become like God.  How do we do that?  The conductor gives us the recipe in every rehearsal!  We pull out the piece(s) of music we are performing and He teaches us what He knows about being a musician.  It ranges from breath support to dynamics.  During the rehearsal we are taught what it takes to be where He is.  After the rehearsal it is up to us to practice what He has taught us.  Are we going to sing with inflection or are we going to sound like Daleks (Doctor Who reference for ya)?  Are we going to follow what He has guided us to do or are we going to do our own thing?  The choice is completely up to us!  Sometimes we forget, and that is okay.  Our wonderful conductor has given us section leaders to help remind us what we should be doing.

If we practice we will improve and can become more like our conductor.  The same is true in our lives; if we practice living like God, we can (and will) become like Him.  We are able to change mistakes, we are made for a wise and glorious purpose!  With God, we can know what the purpose is and how we can achieve it.  He has place people in our lives that can help us repent and come back to Him.  When we are living the way we should be, to go back to this analogy, we are able to perform the lovely and beautiful piece(s) we have practiced for so long.  When we are living the way we should be, we are able to become more like Heavenly Father.

I have had several conversations with people the last few days, and I want to close this post with this thought: YOU are special!  I want to use the ensemble to illustrate this.  Can you imagine Handel's "Messiah" without the string section?  What about the Sopranos?  Tenors?  It is hard to imagine.  But if you take just one section out of this beautiful work, you loose a beautiful color, timbre, that helps create the piece.

You are no different!

You are a child of God who has gone through some pretty rough times to get where you are.  You are a child of God who has strengths that uplift and build those around you.  You are a child of God who is important and valued.

I had an amazing choir director at BYU-Idaho by the name of Brother Kempton who taught me this lesson.  The first thing he taught me in that ensemble was that I had value!  I will be the first to admit that I am not the best singer in the world (I'm not a bad singer, but I know that I have a lot of growing to do).  When I became part of the Collegiate Singer's I did not believe that I had anything to offer the group.  My voice was quiet and underdeveloped, but Brother Kempton saw my potential.  He saw things in myself that I did not think helped the choir, but it did.  I later ended up becoming a section leader and then an assistant conductor.  We have that same opportunity in our lives!

You are important!  God loves you!  He is "conducting" you and sending people into your life that can help you become more like Him.  He wants you to succeed; He doesn't give you trials to discourage you.  He gives you the trials because He knows that after you trudge through it, you will be a better person.  Through those trials, you will become like Him.

SHS Choir Tour

So, on Thursday (March 27) I had the great opportunity to meet up with one of my friends from BYU-Idaho!  Her name is Moom and she is currently student teaching at the same high school I was student teaching (Skyview High School).  We met up for Frozen Yogurt in Provo and had a fun conversation.  Toward the end of our little get together Moom told me that one of the chaperones for the choir tour trip had dropped out.  I told her that I was sure they would find somebody else!  She smiled at me and suggested that I go with them.

Now, I'm not going to lie, I totally wanted to go!  When she said that I felt my heart rise into my throat with excitement!  I could go see my Skyview kids again and watch them perform!  I could go see Joie and Nick!  Everything sounded like it would be an awesome trip!  But, despite all of those things running through my head I told her that I couldn't go.  I was crushed by my own words, but it was true!  I had been booked for that entire week (which was April 2-6; the following week from when we had this conversation).  Moom continued to try and persuade me . . . but I was staying firm with where I was.  After about thirty minutes of talking about it I finally caved and told her that if Joie said yes and if they were driving down through Utah then I would go.  Moom excitedly exclaimed that she would be talking to Joie that night.  After I took Moom home I didn't really think anything of it (honestly, because I didn't believe Joie would say yes).

The next afternoon I receive a text from Joie saying: "Sarah! Moom just called me, you need to come on tour with us!!" I could feel my stomach start to tickle with excitement, she said yes!  We text back and forth for a few minutes about how Nick could potentially pick me up in Utah.  I told her that I would continue to think about it and get back to her.  Joie told me that she told Nick that he needed to talk to me and we left it at that.

A little while later Nick and I had a conversation.  He was trying to persuade me to go and we were trying to figure things out.  I, again, told him that I wasn't 100% sure if I was going to go or not.  It was only $200 (instead of the $600 due to fundraising from the other chaperone) and there were a lot of educational opportunities.  Then, an added bonus, I got to see some of my favorite people in the world! However, I was going to have to cancel two days of work (two full days of work)!  I honestly didn't know what to do!  I was praying about it, pondering on it, and I just couldn't decide!

That night I went and saw BYU's production of Pride and Prejudice (which was brilliant) and I ran into an old friend, Seth.  As we were talking the topic came up about this tour and how I was debating on whether or not to go.  He insisted that I go!  "Never give up an opportunity to have an adventure!"  I'm not sure why, but that hit me really hard!  I continued to think about what Seth said.  By the end of the show I had made up my mind to go!  I text Joie, Moom, and Nick before I could change my mind!  They told me not to tell the kids so that I could surprise them!

Things started falling into place!  One of the jobs that I had booked and was going to have to cancel fell through, so instead of missing two days of full work I was only missing one!  I received a little bit of a bonus from Kelly (my work) and I'm still not quite sure why!  We arranged to meet up in Nevada and everything worked beautifully!

The day we left was excellent!  I couldn't be more excited!!  I could hardly contain my excitement, which made for a really interesting sub job!  My drive to Nevada was quite hilarious too!  The entire time I kept singing to myself about how excited I was to go on tour!  There was this fantastic plan that Joie, Nick, and Moom had come up with to get me on the bus.  The kids got off of the bus to go to the bathroom, get snacks and what-not.  I was to wait in my car until Nick and Moom came and got me.  Then I hid in the bathroom on the bus. Joie started reading names off of lanyards for the students and chaperones.  There were three Sarah's there and I was the last one!  When my name was read, I came out of the bathroom.  The screams that echoed in that bus left my ears ringing all night long, but it was so worth it!

I am so grateful for the chance I had to go on this trip and for the wonderful achievements my students got to experience!  Skyview participated in the Heritage Festival and took silver in their region!  I'm so proud of them!  You guys are the best!  Here are some pics from the tour!

After I surprised the kids on the bus!
L to R: Moom, Nick, Joie, and I

Singing at St. John's Episcopal Cathedral

Gnomie at Disneyland

Joie's Posse
L to R: Casey, Moom, Joie, Me, Alli, and Nick

SHS Tour Choir at Disneyland

Moom and Gnomie on Star Tours

Chillin' at UCLA

Singing at the Lady of our Angels Mausoleum

We were singing along to the 'Frozen' soundtrack in one of the Disneyland stores and one of the workers gave us pins!

Days of Happiness--Day 3

Oh my goodness, today has been such an excellent day! I started off at the temple! It was so nice to go and feel the peace and serenity there! There were several people there, but I didn't mind! A couple of cool/funny things happened whilst I was at the temple this morning!

The first story was happening during confirmations. I was listening to the names and imagining what their story was. As I listened I heard the name Ana Christoff! It took all I had to not laugh! The only thing I could think of was that we were converting Disney one movie at a time! (*Note: For those of you who are confused as to what the big deal is with that name, it is the name of two of the leads in the new Disney movie Frozen).
I also had the chance to meet and very nice young woman who is getting ready to serve her mission in Argentina! It was so cool talking to her and hearing her testimony!

The beautiful Provo temple!! I love this place!

After I went to the temple I had a nice conversation with my Dad about getting a new cell phone. I decided that it was time that I had my own plan/phone. I ended up joining Verizon and getting an iPhone 4s! Man, I was geeking out about it all afternoon! As I was driving down to get it I kept saying to myself "I am an adult!!". It was quite comical!


Almost immediately after I got my phone I went to Family Home Evening (FHE). We watched the Joseph Smith movie! I love that movie! There is such a powerful spirit that is felt whenever I watch it! It was absolutely wonderful!

Julie, Heather, and I at FHE. This was taken with my new phone and using the app Instagram!! :)

Day of Happiness--Day2

Day 2--I have the greatest Ward choir! Today I brought in my Hoberman Sphere and they loved it! I used it to teach them about dynamics and how to grow gradually.  Not only that, but we played a little bit with where people were standing.  Oh my word, it was so wonderful!  I'm so grateful for a choir that is willing to try some crazy things with me and let me geek-out about random things! I love it and am so grateful for them!

A couple of the songs we are doing ("Take Time to Be Holy" and "The Love of God")
and my Hoberman Sphere)

Days of Happiness--Day 1

Day 1--Tonight was my final night performing "Into the Woods" with some of the greatest people I know! These people have truly touched my life and changed it for the better! Ms. T (the director) gave us these beautiful treasure boxes. Inside was some candy, a donut, a personalized letter, and a compass pocket charm. With the pocket charm there was a poem, it said:

"Each day is a journey

We take one step at a time

With friends to support us

One each challenge as we climb.

Whatever direction we go

And no matter what comes our way

May our journey through life

Bring us happiness each day."

I'm so grateful for this amazing cast and crew that I got to work with! I love them with all of my heart! Now it is time for me to take another journey! So, into the woods I go again! :)