Forget Not that the Lord loves you!

I'm taking time to write about the past week of my life. I'll start on Thursday, Feb. 16th, when I was convinced that I was going to stay up until 3:00am just to get my homework done. As Cami and I were preparing dinner for our roommates, at about 5:30pm, I receive a phone call from an 801 number. I didn't recognize it, but I answered anyway. It was my friend Cody! He asked me if I would like to go see Phedre with him that night. Within three seconds I had two thoughts run through my head:

1. Are you serious? Man, come look at my schedule and see all of the stuff I need to do! You're crazy!
2. But, it would be fun! And, my parents probably had a special fast for me to get a date anyway, so I would be denying that special prayer.

I did end up going and it was a much needed break! Phedre is a Greek tragedy, however I laughed incredibly hard during the first act! I hadn't laughed that hard for a little while, and it felt really good to laugh like that! During the intermission, Cody made one of the coolest noises I've ever heard anybody do with their mouth; he sounded like a cricket!! Like, the cricket noises in movies when somebody tells a joke, but either nobody gets it or it isn't funny! It was awesome! During the second act, it was a little heavier (this was where the real "tragedy" stuff started to happen). There's a scene where Theseus yells at his son, and then there was an awkward silence while the actors voice rang in the black-box. Cody then leaned over to me and quietly made the cricket noise! I let out a laugh; I'm hoping nobody heard me . . . if they did, I hope they knew why I was laughing. All-in-all it was an awesome date! I went home and was immediately snapped back into reality when I realized how much I needed to do. But, I didn't care! I was--and am--so grateful for that date!

I ended up staying up until about 2:00am and planning to get up at 4:30am to finish said homework. Well, I ended up sleeping through my alarm until about 6:15am. As soon as I woke up, I knelt down and prayed that Heavenly Father would help me feel His spirit that day and that I would have energy to go throughout the entire day! I had a class at 7:45am so I knew I wouldn't be able to get too much done. I went to class and ended up skipping my next class to finish some other homework. That ended up being a huge tender mercy for me though! In the class I skipped, I didn't miss anything; it was all review for a test we had coming up. At the "end of the day" (being about 3:00pm) I suddenly felt most, if not all, of my energy leave me! The Lord blessed me with energy to go to all of my classes! What another wonderful tender mercy!

I then got to go home for the weekend which was another blessing in my life! I loved spending time with the fam and seeing a few old friends! On Sunday, as I left one of the most amazing sacrament meetings I had ever been to, I ran into Devin (King). He greeted me quite enthusiastically and gave me a hug--a hug that, I admit, I needed! Those few days reminded me that the Lord loves me; just by those small and simple things, I was reminded that God cares about me! Not only does He care about me, but He wants me to be happy. Yes, there are going to be times when I go through a hard time, but He is always there walking beside me. I listened to President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk called "Forget Me Not" and I just couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of love enveloping me! Despite my trials and tribulations, I know that God loves me with all of His heart and I refuse to forget it!

"If You're Not Enjoying the Journey . . ."

There are days in my life when I feel really crumby . . . there are also days in my life where I can't contain what joy I'm feeling. Today is neither one of those days; I'm feeling quite neutral and just content. Honestly, that feeling scares me a little bit. That feeling doesn't accompany some people that I'm around . . . but I think I'm letting it influence me far too much. I stumbled upon this quote by Joe Tye (CEO and head coach of Values Coach Inc.) that says: "If you're not enjoying the journey, you probably won't enjoy the destination." I thought about that and how I've been feeling that past few days. There are times when I'm really frustrated and I don't enjoy the journey or everything that is going on in my life. I'm trying to change that . . . and it's difficult sometimes! But, I'm going to enjoy the journey, because I ultimately know that my destination is going to bring me ultimate happiness!
Today has been a crazy day! I woke up at about 4:45am so that my roommate and I could go to the gym at 5:00am. We went for about 45mins-1hr. and it felt so good! After that, I had classes from 7:45am-3:00pm--at least, that would have been the normal schedule. Instead, my 11:30 (Preparation for Eternal Marriage) was cancelled! However, I quickly filled that hour with practice for Collegiate. Then I had a break from 3:00-4:30 where I attempted to do some homework. I actually got quite a bit done . . . but not nearly as much as I had hoped! Then from 4:30-6:00 I went to one of the greatest Master Classes' I've ever been to!

Crazy Little Thing Called Love!

This semester has been such a fun one thus far. I haven't written in a little while, so I have some catching up to do. A few weeks ago I had my first official performance with the BYU-Idaho Collegiate Singers. We sang at the Gem State Honor Choir performance and it was a blast! We sang "Chariots", "Vinea Mea Electa" and "Zion's Walls". There were different high schools that came around from all over Idaho that shared the experience with us; they were phenomenal!!! We got to speak to some of them afterward and they were so much fun to interact with and talk to them about our choir experiences both in high school and here at school.
The following weekend (last weekend), I had the Barbershop Festival. I was so sad that my quartet couldn't participate, but I had been asked to help the BYU-Idaho Women's Choir in the concert. That entire week was very difficult for me because of the time that was required. I had to learn my songs for Collegiate, my solo music, as well as the songs for Barbershop. However, it was worth every second of it! The quartet Crossroads came and performed, and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen/heard in my life! The Men's Choir was also a highlight of the concert . . . then again, they typically are. My favorite song that they sang was "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".
This past week has been quite fun as well! I have been up late and trying to get all of my homework done, but it has been quite difficult. However, I was reminded how much the Lord's hand is truly in my life. I had a continuous feeling that I was in a "fillers" position and that people only "loved me for a price". It was one of the worst feelings I've had in a little while. I hate the feeling of people loving me, but only when it is convenient for them. However, throughout the week, people have been telling me that they love me. Not only did they say that, but they didn't have a music question or a problem or anything; they just wanted to express their love for me. I absolutely love tender mercies and the Lord in my life.

"Dare to be Different"

What a Tuesday (and it isn't over yet)!!! Tuesdays aren't my busy day . . . EVER!! Because of that, I was able to get a lot of homework done! One of the classes I'm taking is called Scoring and Arranging; we turned in our first projects yesterday and they were played in class today! What an experience! What a rush! All of the arrangements were so well arranged! Our project was to arrange a song for a string quartet (and a bass). I decided to do "Someone Like You" from the Broadway musical Jekyll and Hyde. It started a little rough, which is okay because they were sight-reading it. It was so exciting to hear something that I arranged for strings!!! I'd never done that before! I've arranged for voice and piano, but never for strings! We also got to do an arrangement for a brass ensemble, a woodwind ensemble, and [for our final] a FULL orchestration!!!
Not only was that amazing, but Elder L. Tom Perry came to Devotional today!! My favorite quote that he said was "Dare to be different". Here's something that I'm learning: everybody is different! Even twins are different! We all have different experiences, talents, and abilities. Could you imagine what the world would be like if everybody had the same talents and abilities? There wouldn't be any doctors, musicians, lawyers, democrats, republicans, etc. Life would be boring!!! I've been thinking a lot about that lately. If God wanted us to be the same, I don't think we'd have agency! We'd have to like or dislike the same things, look the same way, if somebody offered you a chocolate cake or an apple, everybody would choose the apple because it's healthier (or vice versa). I wouldn't be able to do what I love most; thought I probably wouldn't mind because I wouldn't know anything else. It's a little confusing, but that's okay.

Another great week/day at BYU Idaho!!!

There are times in my life when I feel down, the past couple of days have been one of those times. However, this post isn't about how poorly I felt, it is about how I was able to remember who I was and feel the Lord's love!

The past few days, I've felt that I'm only hear to "fill in a hole". Nobody really wanted me, but somebody needed to be there; so here I am! I've always been somebody who has focused on others; but this past week as I've talked to people, everything I've said has been blown off (or so it felt). I was so frustrated Thursday night, because even some of my friends were being very short with me and kind of rude. That night, Thursday, I had a Jump-Start sectional with the Altos in choir. We went and spent two hours singing our hearts out and getting to know each other and Brother Kempton a little better! As I left, I felt a little bit better. I definitely felt like I wasn't there on accident or as a "filler". After, I went and grabbed my things and saw that I had missed a call. I called back and found out that it was a member of the Bishopric; he asked me if I could speak in church in a week and a half. I told him I would be happy to! He then assigned me a talk from the Oct. 2011 General Conference as my topic, It Is Better to Look Up by Elder Carl B. Cook.

I immediately went and started reading the talk. I realized that I was continually looking down. I was being pessimistic and it was truly affecting me. I couldn't feel the spirit as easily as I could before, I couldn't feel love towards people like I had before, and I wasn't smiling as much as I typically do. I decided, right then and there, to change! I served somebody! When I got home, I knelt down and said a prayer. I prayed to my Heavenly Father and told Him how much I love Him and what a tender mercy that talk was for me. I felt a reciprocation of love from Him; it was as though He was hugging me and comforting me. He told me that all would be well! I remembered a scripture that talks about how "all of these experiences I give thee for they GOOD" and I started thinking what I could learn.

The next day, Friday, I applied what I thought I could learn. I strived to serve more, to be selfless, and to let the Holy Spirit guide me. I felt so much better about life! I didn't care what anybody else thought about me or how they treated me. The only thing that mattered was what God saw and thought of me. How people were treating me didn't necessarily change, but I did--and still am. I feel so much better remembering that God loves me and wants me to be happy. Not only that, but He wants me to succeed. The trials and tribulations I have are not so I can fail, but so I can succeed. He is striving to help me become stronger. When I push away those trials, or run from them; I am not doing the Lord's will. He wants me to face them head-on, with an eye single to Him, and trusting that He will guide and direct my paths. He wants me to become like Him through all I do and say. Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. But in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy path." I know this is true, because I've seen it in my life. I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to use the atonement in my life daily so He can help me with my pains, but that I can also repent of my sins! The only person(s) whose opinion matters is yourself and the Lord's. =D

I'd like to add the lyrics to a song we are singing this semester in choir. It is taken from a speech by Edith who was a Quaker woman who war martyred in the play Christus: A Mystery -- Part III: The New England Tragedies by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It is called Inward Stillness:

Let us, then, labor for an inward stillness,--
An inward stillness and an inward healing;
That perfect silence where the lips and heart
Are still, and we no longer entertain
Our own imperfect thoughts and vain opinions,
But God alone speaks in us, and we wait
In singleness of heart, that we may know
His will, and in the silence of our spirits,
That we may do His will, and do that only!

"Repairer of the breech"

Have you ever had one of those days where you put a smile on, but you really don't feel like smiling? Can I tell you that, just by smiling, you can turn your whole day around! I woke up this morning at 4:45am to go to the gym with my roommate. I was very tired, but knew that I needed to go to the gym (especially because I dropped my volleyball class, so that would be my only form of exercise). I knelt down and started to pray for strength to get up and go. My roommate and I went and were there for an hour! I came back and wanted nothing more than to fall down on my bed and go back to sleep. I may or may not have been slightly proud of myself when I didn't!

Cami and I then made pancakes for breakfast (which, I felt, was exactly what the doctor ordered) after taking a HOT shower! My day today felt so busy . . . but truth be told, it wasn't! I had two classes today, one at 9:00 and the other at 12:45, and the latter was choir. Because it is Tuesday, I also had the blessed opportunity to listen to Brother Scott Cameron of BYU's Law program speak at Devotional. BYU-Idaho's Vocal Union sang the musical number today, and it was so powerful! There was such a beautiful spirit and I couldn't help but tear up a little bit.

After Devotional, I got to watch one of my friend's child (Tony) while he was in Men's Choir. Can I just say, sometimes it's difficult, but Tony is quite the little boy! Today he was very "snuggly"; he didn't really want me to set him down (which happened last time I watched him too). It was sweet! Over the past few days I've decided that I should start my own business "Sitter of the Snow" or something like that! I love playing with children! There is such a sweet and innocent spirit about them! Not only that, but they are entertained so easily! Imagine if teenagers/adults were entertained as easily as children are. I guess some teenagers/adults are entertained just as easily!

I'm back!!!!

What a fantastic week! Monday morning I moved back up to Idaho; it was quite a fantastic day! I unpacked everything, relaxed, and even got to go to Pizza Pie Cafe that night for dinner! One of the most exciting things that I got to do was meet the Rexburg, Idaho temple recorder--Brother Sevy (sp?). He is awesome!

Tuesday I auditioned for Collegiate Singer's again! That night, I found out that I got a call-back!!! =D I got the music and realized that it was in Latin and had some funky intervals in my part. Because I would have class from 7:45 am until the time of call-backs, I decided to practice that night. I feel incredibly blessed that I was able to practice with a group of people because it helped me learn my part better. Then Wednesday was the big day; the first day of school!!! I was so excited, however I did something rather silly in my schedule! I go from the top of the hill, to the bottom, back to the top and then back to the bottom! Can you say foolish? Man, I'll tell you what, I get a work-out!

The time came for call-backs and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach multiply (I'm convinced they turned into rabbits they multiplied so quickly). We sang and continued with the call-back by singing the excerpt from Poulenc's "Vinea Mea Electa". I was feeling pretty good, until he came to our section (Alto II). There were some huge voices behind me, to the point that I couldn't hear myself sometimes. I was worried that I wouldn't make it due to my lack of beefiness in my voice. Later that night, the list of the Winter 2012 Collegiate Singer's was posted. I honestly didn't want to go and look; but I did anyway! I made it in!!! I was, and am, thrilled! I truly believe that the Lord has blessed me once again by letting me be in this choir. We are singing in Devotional on Tuesday "Guide us O Thou Great Jehovah" and I'm really excited!!!

I'm so excited for this semester, I'm taking classes like: Scoring and Arranging, Marriage Prep (no, I'm not engaged or even seeing anybody for that matter), Education Psychology, Music Literature III, Math 108, Collegiate Singers (choir), Volleyball, Voice lessons, and a Master Class. Yeah, I'm going to be busy this semester! But, I feel that it is going to be worth it! I've met quite a few people already this semester due to me just stepping outside of my comfort zone and doing things with people. For example, the other night my roommates went dancing, but I had some more homework I had to do. I finished my homework and I heard a knock on our door. It was our neighbors; they invited me to go play wallyball with them, so I did! We didn't end up playing wallyball due to the lack of open courts; but I jumped in somewhere and started playing volleyball with some people that I didn't know. I made a few new friends just by doing that! It was such a blast!

I also had a sweet experience the other day whilst I was watching Clara, one of my friends 7 month old baby. Lindy had to go speak to Brother Olsen about mentoring for MUS 155, so she asked if I would watch Clara for her. She cried for a minute after her Mom left,  but we started playing and she was fine. A little while later, I could tell that she was quite tired; so, I did the whole "bounce-and-rock" thing. Within a few minutes, she fell asleep! It was so sweet!! It made me think of when I was little and my Mom would send me out with Ben or Anna if they were crying during church. By the end of the meeting, I'd have them asleep! I love little children, they are just so cute!!!

I have a really good feeling about this semester!! I feel like it's going to be the bomb.com! I'm at least off to a bomb-diggity start!