I am a Daughter of God

So, last night was kind of a rough night for me. I won't go into any detail, but just know that I was having a hard time. When I got home from institute I knelt down and began to have a talk with my Heavenly Father. I was irritated and hurt and I didn't know what to do. I felt like this was weighing me down and I even told my Heavenly Father that I didn't think I could do this, that it was too hard. As I was kneeling, I looked up and saw my scriptures sitting in front of me. I decided I would try that "open up to any random scripture" thing (the only other time I've done that was when I was trying to decide on whether or not I should go on band tour. I was taken to a scripture about death by fire and decided not to go). This time, I let the scriptures fall open wherever they would. Still on my knees, I let them fall open to Genesis 18:14; the scripture reads, "Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son." I laughed at the end of the scripture, but the first line is what really stood out to me. Is any thing too hard for the Lord?

I sat and pondered for only a moment and began to change my prayer. I asked for His help, I asked if He would help me carry this burden and if He would be yoked to me and this trial. As I pleaded for His help I was taken to my patriarchal blessing. I began to read through it and was stopped by one phrase: "Sarah, you are one of our Father in Heaven's choice daughters . . ." and I realized that I didn't know what that meant. What is a "choice daughter"? So, I Googled it! No matter how many different ways I typed it into Google, there was one talk that was always the first website to pop up. It was a talk given by Elder James E. Faust in 1999 called "What It Means to Be a Daughter of God" The Lord answers our prayers in mysterious ways, but this was definitely and answer to my prayers.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths." God understands things and sees the big picture. Whereas I, a limited human, only see what's right in front of me. There is nothing I can't do when I'm with him! I am a daughter of God who loves me so much; He lets me experience things so that I can grow and be like Him! I'm grateful for these experiences; I rejoice in them (even if it does take time and pain). It will all be over soon, but until then "Keep moving forward" (Walt Disney) and trust in God. Lean on Him, walk with Him, and He will direct your path.

Les Misérables

Well, my week of productions is over! To recap: Wednesday I saw Così fan tutte (opera by Mozart), this morning I saw The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (adapted by Teresa Dayley Love, who also directed it), and I just got back from seeing the wonderful Wasatch High School production of Les Misérables (it was the school edition, but it was still incredible)! I was thoroughly impressed with the vocals in this cast! Les Mis is not an easy musical to pull off, yet it was done incredibly well! The directors of this musical were: Ms. Laurie Turnblom (technical), Mr. Stephen Reynolds (musical), and Mr. Michael Siggard (orchestra) with Mrs. Anna Wilson as the vocal coach! The cast consisted of:

Jean Valjean: Glen Wright
Fantine: Emma Sanders
Javert: Daniel Clegg
Eponine: Jana Wilhite
Marius: Joshua Hooker
Cosette: Savannah Bigelow
M. Thenardier: Taylor Murdock
Mme. Thenardier: Melissa Rhees

Oh my, all of these people had some serious pipes!!! They can SING!!! I felt that the cast did an incredibly good job putting this all together! I don't think I could pick a favorite part, nor a favorite vocalist! They were all incredible and I'm incredibly proud of their hard work in putting all of this together! The set too was stunning and was incredibly well built!

I was truly touched by this production! As I watched Jean Valjean and Javert kind of "go-at-it" a phrase that Javert kept saying popped into my head: "You're a thief and you'll never change." And yet we see Valjean change through out the entire musical! He is a different man every scene! This musical is all about the repentance process and the message that you can change and become better! Good job to all of those involved in this production and all of the others that I've seen! I feel truly blessed to have seen and heard all of your wonderful talents!

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Well, my week of plays/musicals is drawing to an end! Today I had the wonderful opportunity to see BYU's production of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" with my little sister. One of the greatest things about this play was the audience participation that was involved. It felt more like it was story time than I was sitting in a play. Not that sitting and watching a play is bad, but it's always nice when you get to participate in it. There were two speaking actors (who portrayed all of the characters in the play) and then two spirits. The spirits were the ones who typically pulled the people up onto the stage and had them portray things like: doors, windows, animals, etc. All of the actors did a fantastic job! I also had the privilege of seeing one of my friends in the production. I had never seen him act before, but he's definitely got talent!

Image via

There were two different types of seating: chair and floor. I didn't realize what the floor seating would entail, so I bought Anna a chair seat with me. When we arrived I saw red tape on the floor and assumed that that was where the floor seating was. Anna did end up sitting there while I stayed in a seat; she's been really into theater of late (it must run in the family or something) and it was fun to watch her during the play! There was a point during the play when Anna was asked by a spirit to be one of the school children. She went into the school as Mr. Ichabod Crane is seeing his room that somebody has just messed up. I was surprised that she was so quiet and seemed to be really shy at first. As the scene moved on, Mr. Crane asked who could have made this mess!? Anna responded, "Maybe it was you." Mr. Crane reacted, in his British accent, "It was not me!" She seemed to really enjoy it! She also got to play a window, which I think she enjoyed the most (which is funny, but she had a little girl standing up there with her and they were kind of giggly as Mr. Crane and Katrina Van Tassel spoke through her. All-in-all I feel that she really enjoyed herself (as did I)!

Now, for my last production of my "Musical/Play Week"; WHS (Wasatch High School)'s production of Les Misérables!!!

Ah, genetics!

So, for the past couple of months I've been striving to eat and live healthier. I've been exercising more (I'm beginning to love jogging/running) and eating more fruits and vegetables and controlling my portion sizes. Now, what I'm about to say may shock some people but that's okay; I love genetics!!! I inherited a slow metabolism and I'm so grateful for that! Why? Because it's teaching me how to use self control and self-mastery! Weird perspective, right?

These past couple of months, I've learned to say no to things that I sometimes really wanted! One time, while I was at work, I was kind of feeling like ice cream (working around ice cream all the time, it is hard to say no sometimes). As I stood there in front of the computer screen I had two choices: I could get ice cream, or I could just clock out and eat the wonderful food I brought from home. I quickly clocked out and started preparing the food that I had brought! Through all of this I've become happier, gained more self-control, and more confidence in myself! I don't know if I would have obtained this if it weren't for genetics! ;)

PS--Perspective changes everything sometimes, doesn't it? ;)

A Night at the Opera

Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to go see BYU's presentation of Mozart's opera Cosi fan tutte. They did such an amazing job! The title, translated, means "women are alike". This opera is about two soldiers: Guglielmo (baritone) and Ferrando (tenor), who make a bet with Don Alfonso (bass) that their women will remain faithful to them at all times. To prove this, the men decide to participate in a little "test"; they agree to pretend to go off to battle for a little while (it ends up being a day) and then dressing up as Albanian men and each seducing the other man's fiancée.

Via

The women: Dorabella (mezzo-soprano and lover of Ferrnado) and Fioriligi (soprano, lover of Guglielmo) are vexed that the men leave. Due to this reaction, the men leave with full confidence that their fiancée's will be completely faithful. As they begin to seduce the women as Albanian's the women refuse to give in . . . that is, until the end of Act I! Don Alfonso asks for the help of Dorabella's and Fioriligi's maid, Despina (soprano). With Despina's encouragement, the women do end up falling in love with the "Albanians" and agree to marry them. In the end, the truth comes out. Don Alfonso sings: "Yes, I deceived you, but it was to teach your sweethearts a lesson. They will be much wiser now, Come now, embrace and don't argue, Someday all four of you will laugh, as we have laughed."

It was so well done, and such a fantastic cast! My favorite scene was actually one that my school (BYU-Idaho) has done before. It was Act I Scene 4. The men decide to "take some poison" to show their feelings on the unreciprocated love from these beautiful women! Despina dresses up as a doctor and uses "magnetism" to heal them! It is, truly, one of the funniest scenes in all of opera that I've ever seen! I feel that, even if you aren't a fan of opera, that you would enjoy this! It is so enjoyable and absolutely hilarious! The moral of the story--according to Mozart--is: 

"Happy is the man who can always look on the bright side of life and lets himself be guided by reason. What makes others week, will make him laugh.

In the whirlwinds of the world he can find a lovely calm."

"A Quiet Heart"

For the past couple of days I've been reading a wonderful book by Sister Patricia T. Holland (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's wife). The book is entitled A Quiet Heart. Last night I had the opportunity to sit in the Provo temple and read this book while I waited for my ward to finish their session (I'm not endowed so I got to do baptisms instead). As I read, I got very excited when I got to a poem she quoted! As I read the words, music came to my mind: this was a song that I sang in Collegiate earlier this year! The poem is entitled "Quiet Time" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow; the song title is "Inward Stillness". The entire poem, I believe, can be summed up by the last line of the poem "That we may do His [God's] will, and do that only."

Via Elder and Sister Holland

This books has been such a blessing for me over the past couple of days! Another thing that has touched me in a way that I cannot express was a story that she had heard from a man by the name of Scott Kelly. I don't feel that I should/could sum it up, so here's the story:
"Years ago at a hotel swimming pool while vacationing as a family, my wife and I became distracted by the antics of our new baby. We turned back to the pool in horror to find that our 3-year-old son had walked off the last step of the pool into water over his head. He was standing with his head submerged and his arms raised and waving back and forth. I rushed over, grabbed his arms and pulled him out. He had been under water only a short time and was all right, but he said something that has since stayed with me. He said, "I tried to cry under the water but I couldn't, so I held up my arms and waited because I knew you would come'" (Church News, 7 January 1995, 4). Sister Holland went on to add: "If only we could remember, when the water of worldly sorrow and pressure is crashing in around us, that we don't need to give up, nor do we need to wildly thrash around strangling anything that looks like help. If we could just remember to peacefully hold out our arms to let people and God know we are hurting, the help will come. I promise it will come." (A Quiet Heart, pg. 24-25)

As I sat in the temple and read this story, I could feel my eyes fill with tears! What faith this young child had in his father. I then thought of the struggles in my life and how I sometimes feel as though I am "under water" and burdened so much that I cannot cry for help. But help will come! Often times, help has come, I just need to recognize it!

I know that God hears and answers our prayers, even if it isn't in a way that we expect or want. God truly does know me and how He can help me. All I need to do is raise my arms to Him and He will grab a hold of me and lift me up, He will save me!

One other thing that I loved (there are far to many to write, but I feel that this is important) is what Sister Holland said about when we are going through trials. She talked about how sometimes our lives fall apart and nothing seems to be going right! She said: "At those times, my first thought is often, 'He is angry with me. What have I done wrong? What sin did I commit? Why have I been moved out of my comfort zone, and who can i get back in it?' But I am getting older now--we all do that--and I am growing out of those reactions. I am not seeing God's stretching of me as a punishment but as reward because it has always led me on to a higher level of spiritual understanding and always--always!--has brought me unanticipated and seemingly un earned blessings. It isn't God's anger that allows change and upheaval and, from time to time, suffering in our lives. It is in fact his tenderest love that allows it."

I believe that, too often, people believe that "bad things happen to bad people". But was Christ bad? No! He was perfect in every way, shape, and form! And yet what happened to him? He as whipped, spat on, had a crown of thorns placed on his head, betrayed, and then killed. And what for? For being the Son of God, for healing the sick, raising the dead, loving everybody, and bringing others to Christ. Things happened to Christ because they needed to in order for Him to do the Father's will. He needed to suffer for all of our sins, pains, and infirmities. Bad things do not happen to purely bad people; it happens to everybody! God takes us out of our comfort zone so that we can become what He knows we are capable of becoming! He sees our divine potential, and He knows what we need to go through to get there! God is wonderful, and I am grateful for His faith and love that allows me to go through hardships and trials that make me a better person!

Via A Quiet Heart

If you ever have time, I recommend reading this book! It isn't a long book (130 pages) so if you're worried about not having time, it won't take up much of it! But, as you read it, reflect on what she's saying! I have only gotten to page 48 and I already feel as though I have been changed by it! The book is called A Quiet Heart by Patricia T. Holland if you are interested!

Ward Temple Night

So, last night was our Heber YSA Ward temple night. We were to meet at the church at 5:30 so that we could be there in time for the 7:30 session. I arrived at the church at 5:28 and there was nobody there! I started to get nervous, and then Brother and Sister McKee pulled up. When 5:40 or 5:45 rolled around, it was still just us sitting in the parking lot. Then, the Bishop and his wife pulled up! So, there were five of us total and we drove down to the temple. Sister Brown kept teasing about how she was sorry that I had to "hang out with the senior citizens". I laughed, but I didn't care their age or anything; it was just good to be among friends. As we drove down, Bishop turned around to me and asked what was the "latest gossip" with some of the couples in the ward! I laughed and told him what I knew (which wasn't a lot) and he then turned it onto me, "Who are you dating?" He asked excitedly!
"I'm not." I responded, not sadly but not nearly as enthusiastically as he had asked me.
"We'll have to change that!" He responded happily and with a twinkle in his eye.

Brother Coombs (member of the Bishopric) and Glen (a young single adult) met up with the McKee's and the Brown's at the temple. They went through and did an endowment session while I went downstairs and participated in baptisms for the dead. It never ceases to amaze me that I get to help others who have died get a chance at accepting the gospel. As I stand proxy for them, I truly feel their love (and sometimes their acceptance) for the work that is being done.

I finished quite a bit earlier than the rest, so I waited in the foyer for them. I read from the Book of Mormon and from Sister Holland's book A Quiet Heart. I also had the wonderful opportunity to see one of my old roommates while I was at the temple! I had no idea she was living in Orem at this time, but we had a wonderful chance to catch up for a few minutes. After a little while they came out and we went out to eat a Zupas! It's a place in Provo where they serve soup, sandwiches, and salads! As I got up to order I felt very overwhelmed by their menu! I had no idea what to get or what was good. I ended up getting the Shanghai Chicken Salad with some Chicken Enchilada Chili soup (and whenever you order something you get bread and a chocolate dipped strawberry with it. I didn't eat mine, I gave it to Glen because I wasn't hungry)! Boy was it good!

My friend Glen and I sat next to each other and, though I was rather quiet, we had some good conversations! At one point during the night he asked me if I spoke any other languages. I laughed and told him that I pretend to! As part of my major I've had the blessed opportunity to take diction classes for: Italian, French, Latin, and German. If you put something that is written in any of those languages in front of me, I can read it! However, I don't necessarily know what it means. I can pick out parts of it, but not by any means all of it! It was great to talk to him and get to know him a little better.

As we traveled home it took all of my strength not to fall asleep! Not because I was bored by any means, but because I was so tired! I am proud to say that I didn't fall asleep, but that I was able to carry a conversation with the others in the car! I have such a fantastic ward and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to associate myself with such wonderful people!

Fall=Crunchy Leaves!!!

Okay, so sometimes I think I'm really cool and today was one of those days! As I was walking home from work today I couldn't help but notice all of the beautiful colors in the trees that were around me. I stepped on one leaf and it crunched . . . and that's when it all started! That one crunch gave me such adrenaline, it was ridiculous! I started trying to step on every single leaf I saw (I'm convinced I left no leaf untouched the entire way home). There were some leaves really close together that I know I looked silly as I tried to step on them all; and then there were some that were far apart and I would try not to step anywhere else before I stepped on that other leaf!

At one point, I was by a field and there were NO leaves on the sidewalk. I stopped mid-stride and looked across the field and saw leaves all over the grass. Immediately the thought popped into my head "Now Sarah, what are you going to do? Are you going to stay on the sidewalk like a normal person or are you going to go jump in the leaves like a psycho?" I thought for all of a second and I started running toward the leaves! I jumped up and down and stepped on so many different leaves! As I walked away, all I could think to myself was "Man, I'm so cool!" (Not in a conceited way, but in a way that I think I was trying to diminish the embarrassment that was trying to take over). I'm convinced Heavenly Father was just laughing at me all afternoon as I stepped on each leaf! I know I looked silly, and yet I don't care!

You know, I can't explain how happy I am right now! I feel that I'm where the Lord needs me to be and that I'm doing what He wants/needs me to be doing. Especially as I've started exercising more (which has been absolutely AMAZING!) I've felt more confidence in myself, my voice, my testimony, my secular knowledge, and basically everything! I have such wonderful friends that support me and really keep me going! But, more importantly, I have a Heavenly Father and Savior who support me and give me strength when I feel weak. I wrote in the last post about my jogging with Heavenly Father; He truly does strengthen me! I have been jogging farther and longer than I ever thought I would! He sends me little love notes and reminders every day (like the crunchy leaves today)! God truly does know me; and it isn't just like a "Oh yeah, your name is Sarah!" He knows me better than I know myself! He knows exactly what I need to help cheer me up and it's wonderful!

Life is grand, and amidst all of the trials and tribulations I've truly learned for myself that what Robert Frost said is correct: "it goes on". By eliminating things in your life that you don't need (Facebook was a huge one for me) you can focus on the important things (like exercising, homework, the gospel, etc.). God is good, and I'm grateful for His love!!!

Changing with the leaves

Alright, so I've been going through a lot of changes in my life for the past month or so. Because I don't want to waste anybody's time with all of them, I'll just mention the one that I'm focusing the most on, becoming healthier. Part of that is eating healthier food, less portions, and exercising more (45+ mins. a day). I have my days where I hate getting up and jogging--like I think everybody does--but every time I do, I am so incredibly blessed.

This morning, for instance, I jogged with Heavenly Father (it's kind of like what I do when I'm struggling and driving; I imagine Heavenly Father is in the passengers seat and I just speak to Him). It's kind of nerdy, I know, but it helps me like crazy!! I imagined that He was jogging right beside me and it actually helped me go farther than I thought I would! I also, during my warm-up/cool-down I talked to Him about some concerns that I have in my life and struggles that I am currently going through. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful Heavenly Father who is willing to jog with me! =) No but in all seriousness, I'm so grateful that He's willing to listen to my (usually silly) problems! Whether it's something about a silly guy, work, or whatever else it could be He is always listening!

I'm so grateful that my Heavenly Father cares enough about me to help me with goals that I have, even if they seem far-fetched in my mind at the time. During Conference this past weekend, one of the speakers quoted one of my favorite hymns "Lead Kindly Light" (Hymn #97). There was a line that I never had understood until he read it; how we read it is completely different than what it means. In the first verse it says: "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me." When he read that, it helped me realize that I don't need to see the "distant scene" or the "end product" right now. I'm good with taking one step at a time!

As I've made a resolution to change now with the leaves instead of with the year I have felt so much better about myself and where I'm going with my life! I love it, truly I do! I'm so grateful I decided to work on this now instead of January! I'm becoming a new and better person!

"I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!"

Wow, I just finished watching the first two sessions of General Conference! I love Conference weekend, my family comes together and we listen to the words of the prophet of God! One of my favorite talks from today was by Sister Ann M. Dibb. She shared a mantra that she made: "I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it." She then went through and talked about each of these things more in detail. That's my new mantra! I am pleased to say that I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!

A couple of really cool announcements were made today at the beginning of the afternoon session of General Conference. First, there were two new temples announced: one will be in Tucson, Arizona and the other in Arequipa, Peru. I'm so grateful for temples and it excites me to know that more are being built! The other announcement is that the age of missionaries has changed "effective immediately" in the words of President Monson. The age prior to today was that young men would serve at the age of nineteen (19) and the sisters--if they so desired--would serve missions at the age of twenty-one (21). Now, young men will serve their missions at the age of eighteen (18), and the sisters can serve when they are nineteen (19)! It's amazing! If I had gone on a mission when I was nineteen I would have been home a year an a half ago!!! It was an amazing announcement, but I know that it was of God!

Another talk that really touched me was from the morning session and it was given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. One of the things he talked about was "wearing our busy-ness like a badge of honor". I do that ALL the time! I'm always so pleased with myself when I'm busy and I almost feel like it makes me a better person when I don't have time to sleep! Yet, his entire message was talking about regrets and how we can avoid them when the time comes for us to leave this life. As he spoke, all I could think about was my desire to change and become the person God knows I'm capable of being. Oddly enough, he mentioned that later on in his talk. While he was talking about our divine potential he said "Make some resolutions today!" I had the thought pop into my head: "Change with the leaves, not the year!" I don't have to wait until January 1, 2013 to change who I am; I can change now! So many prayers have been answered for me today and I'm so excited to see what messages I receive tomorrow!! Cheers!