Fall=Crunchy Leaves!!!

Okay, so sometimes I think I'm really cool and today was one of those days! As I was walking home from work today I couldn't help but notice all of the beautiful colors in the trees that were around me. I stepped on one leaf and it crunched . . . and that's when it all started! That one crunch gave me such adrenaline, it was ridiculous! I started trying to step on every single leaf I saw (I'm convinced I left no leaf untouched the entire way home). There were some leaves really close together that I know I looked silly as I tried to step on them all; and then there were some that were far apart and I would try not to step anywhere else before I stepped on that other leaf!

At one point, I was by a field and there were NO leaves on the sidewalk. I stopped mid-stride and looked across the field and saw leaves all over the grass. Immediately the thought popped into my head "Now Sarah, what are you going to do? Are you going to stay on the sidewalk like a normal person or are you going to go jump in the leaves like a psycho?" I thought for all of a second and I started running toward the leaves! I jumped up and down and stepped on so many different leaves! As I walked away, all I could think to myself was "Man, I'm so cool!" (Not in a conceited way, but in a way that I think I was trying to diminish the embarrassment that was trying to take over). I'm convinced Heavenly Father was just laughing at me all afternoon as I stepped on each leaf! I know I looked silly, and yet I don't care!

You know, I can't explain how happy I am right now! I feel that I'm where the Lord needs me to be and that I'm doing what He wants/needs me to be doing. Especially as I've started exercising more (which has been absolutely AMAZING!) I've felt more confidence in myself, my voice, my testimony, my secular knowledge, and basically everything! I have such wonderful friends that support me and really keep me going! But, more importantly, I have a Heavenly Father and Savior who support me and give me strength when I feel weak. I wrote in the last post about my jogging with Heavenly Father; He truly does strengthen me! I have been jogging farther and longer than I ever thought I would! He sends me little love notes and reminders every day (like the crunchy leaves today)! God truly does know me; and it isn't just like a "Oh yeah, your name is Sarah!" He knows me better than I know myself! He knows exactly what I need to help cheer me up and it's wonderful!

Life is grand, and amidst all of the trials and tribulations I've truly learned for myself that what Robert Frost said is correct: "it goes on". By eliminating things in your life that you don't need (Facebook was a huge one for me) you can focus on the important things (like exercising, homework, the gospel, etc.). God is good, and I'm grateful for His love!!!

Changing with the leaves

Alright, so I've been going through a lot of changes in my life for the past month or so. Because I don't want to waste anybody's time with all of them, I'll just mention the one that I'm focusing the most on, becoming healthier. Part of that is eating healthier food, less portions, and exercising more (45+ mins. a day). I have my days where I hate getting up and jogging--like I think everybody does--but every time I do, I am so incredibly blessed.

This morning, for instance, I jogged with Heavenly Father (it's kind of like what I do when I'm struggling and driving; I imagine Heavenly Father is in the passengers seat and I just speak to Him). It's kind of nerdy, I know, but it helps me like crazy!! I imagined that He was jogging right beside me and it actually helped me go farther than I thought I would! I also, during my warm-up/cool-down I talked to Him about some concerns that I have in my life and struggles that I am currently going through. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful Heavenly Father who is willing to jog with me! =) No but in all seriousness, I'm so grateful that He's willing to listen to my (usually silly) problems! Whether it's something about a silly guy, work, or whatever else it could be He is always listening!

I'm so grateful that my Heavenly Father cares enough about me to help me with goals that I have, even if they seem far-fetched in my mind at the time. During Conference this past weekend, one of the speakers quoted one of my favorite hymns "Lead Kindly Light" (Hymn #97). There was a line that I never had understood until he read it; how we read it is completely different than what it means. In the first verse it says: "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me." When he read that, it helped me realize that I don't need to see the "distant scene" or the "end product" right now. I'm good with taking one step at a time!

As I've made a resolution to change now with the leaves instead of with the year I have felt so much better about myself and where I'm going with my life! I love it, truly I do! I'm so grateful I decided to work on this now instead of January! I'm becoming a new and better person!

"I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!"

Wow, I just finished watching the first two sessions of General Conference! I love Conference weekend, my family comes together and we listen to the words of the prophet of God! One of my favorite talks from today was by Sister Ann M. Dibb. She shared a mantra that she made: "I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it." She then went through and talked about each of these things more in detail. That's my new mantra! I am pleased to say that I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!

A couple of really cool announcements were made today at the beginning of the afternoon session of General Conference. First, there were two new temples announced: one will be in Tucson, Arizona and the other in Arequipa, Peru. I'm so grateful for temples and it excites me to know that more are being built! The other announcement is that the age of missionaries has changed "effective immediately" in the words of President Monson. The age prior to today was that young men would serve at the age of nineteen (19) and the sisters--if they so desired--would serve missions at the age of twenty-one (21). Now, young men will serve their missions at the age of eighteen (18), and the sisters can serve when they are nineteen (19)! It's amazing! If I had gone on a mission when I was nineteen I would have been home a year an a half ago!!! It was an amazing announcement, but I know that it was of God!

Another talk that really touched me was from the morning session and it was given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. One of the things he talked about was "wearing our busy-ness like a badge of honor". I do that ALL the time! I'm always so pleased with myself when I'm busy and I almost feel like it makes me a better person when I don't have time to sleep! Yet, his entire message was talking about regrets and how we can avoid them when the time comes for us to leave this life. As he spoke, all I could think about was my desire to change and become the person God knows I'm capable of being. Oddly enough, he mentioned that later on in his talk. While he was talking about our divine potential he said "Make some resolutions today!" I had the thought pop into my head: "Change with the leaves, not the year!" I don't have to wait until January 1, 2013 to change who I am; I can change now! So many prayers have been answered for me today and I'm so excited to see what messages I receive tomorrow!! Cheers!

Student Teaching Application: CHECK!

So, for the past few days I've been in Rexburg doing my student teaching application. Boy was it less work then I thought! I was sent a check list of things I needed to have done before October 1 and it looked like a lot!! I had to get the VCC (Verification of Classwork Completion) done, get fingerprinted,  get my picture taken, and submit a personal essay about my teaching philosophy and a little bit about me. I was crazy stressed and was worried that I wasn't going to get it done by the time I left today. However, it is 9:31am and I'm done!!!

It feels kind of weird to be an official student teacher applicant; but here's my picture that will be showing on my bio

I so much loved being back in Rexburg and visiting my friends there! I had the blessed opportunity to meet my dear friends' fiance. I'm so proud and excited for her! She has been one of my best friends whilst I've been up there and I was truly (and am truly) inspired by her every time I'm around her. A deep congrats to her!

Then, of course, being back with my dear Collegiate friends was fantastic! I went to two of their rehearsals while I was there and it was awesome! The music they are doing this semester is very difficult, but it's so much fun! It was very bitter-sweet for me to leave; Rexburg has been my home for the last four years. As I prepare to graduate (July 2013 I walk, December 2013 I officially graduate) I have recognized the sweet times that I've had at this wonderful and blessed school!

This One's For the Girls . . .

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to go to my Stake Conference. All of the speakers there, I feel, were truly inspired to speak about what they did. There was such a wide spectrum of what was talked about. Everything from "Who am I?" to the Spirit of Elijah. There were several things that I thought of as I listened to them speak:

1. What do I think identifies who I am?
2. I am worth it!

So, my first thought occurred rather early in the conference as Elder Maynes asked the question: Who am I? He gave several things that people usually define us by: jobs, wealth, hobbies, and our spiritual identities. I started thinking about things that I have been identified by and this is where my message to all women comes in; don't worry about being identified by the world! One of the things that I've struggled with for a long time is my weight! I've never liked my weight and it isn't until recently that I've decided that I'm going to become truly dedicated to losing it (that's another story)! I always felt like I was ugly because I don't wear a size two pant or dress! I thought that that is how people identified me: the fat, blonde girl! I believe in being honest, so I'll tell you that I felt lower than dirt whenever I was out socializing!

Now, before I continue, let me quickly say that my views of myself are changing every day! So, I'm not asking for pity or anything of the sort! Rather, I'd like to share what I've been learning through those feelings and experiences (and don't worry, all of this still has to do with the thoughts I had at Stake Conference) because I believe that nobody deserves to feel that way! I can testify that you [sisters, and any brothers who read this despite the title ;) ] are beautiful just the way you are! If the world identifies you by your weight, height, eye color, or any other physical attribute that you may have they are not seeing the real you! You are so much more than what people see on the outside! What did I learn? I'm not a "fat, blonde girl"! But I, truly, am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. Not only that, but despite being over weight, I am my Heavenly Fathers daughter! I love the truth that I, and all of you, are beloved children of God. The song "I Am A Child of God" is true! There's no doubt of it in my mind!! Don't let people identify you purely by how you look on the outside, but don't you identify yourself by how you look on the outside either! "You are your toughest critic" and you can pick out all of your flaws within seconds of looking at yourself in the mirror! To quote President Uchtdorf, STOP IT!! Does God judge you based on your weight? Hair color? Shoe size? No! To Him, you are beautiful! Why would you call His creation, you, ugly or not good enough? Now, it isn't bad to get into shape or things like that. But when you continually degrade yourself, that is when all of this becomes a problem!

The second thought I had was that I am worth it! Isn't that an interesting thought? I actually thought it for the first time whilst I was doing my "Coming to Sarah Week". However, the thought occurred to me again today! Elder Dallin H. Oaks shared an analogy about wearing a jacket whilst star gazing, which was related to marriage. He quoted:

"Imagine that your favorite hobby is stargazing and you’ve just joined a stargazing club. You come to your first club activity eager to participate. It’s a cold night, but you’re not concerned: most of the club members are wearing club jackets, and you’ve been told you should be able to get one as well. But there is no jacket for you. You ask about it, and you are told to keep looking and that if you do your best, you will find a jacket when the time is right.

Meanwhile, you are getting pretty cold and a little worried. And you notice that most of the other club members are talking about how nice and warm their jackets are. In fact, throughout the evening the topic surfaces continually in various forms: how to wash and dry your jacket, how to add extra pockets, how to mend it, and so forth. Some of the club members notice you don’t have a jacket. “You really need a jacket for these activities,” they tell you. “Why don’t you have one yet?”

"

As he read this, of course we all had a really good laugh because, quite frankly, it's true! But, I'd like to testify to all of the sisters who are both single and married, you are worth it! Single sisters: the young man that you marry will be so blessed to have you in his life and you will be blessed to have him in yours! You are worth the wait; believe it! Married sisters: look at your husbands and realize that you were worth the wait and that he is blessed to have you in his life and vice versa! Going back to our identities: you are women and daughters of God and He loves you so much!

I testify that He loves you; He loves me! He doesn't just love us collectively, but He loves me individually! He knows my heart, my desires, my pains, and my struggles; He walks along right beside me through all of those times. God truly does succor His people! I know that that is true because I've seen it in my life every day! Today, I truly believe that He inspired these brothers and sisters to talk about what they did because I needed to hear every single message today! As President McCune (Provo, Utah Mission President) said: "God can make much more of my life than I can!" I believe that whole-heartedly!! As I've been striving to put God first in my life and improve who I am, I can say with full confidence that God truly has guided and directed me to where I should be. Not only that, but He truly is making much more of my life than I ever could have! Trust in Him and He truly will direct your path! Always remember that there is more to you than the surface and that you are worth it!

Pictures found online

"My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee"

I just want to take a second to bear my testimony about God's love for all of His children. I know that I've said this a lot in the last few posts, but it is still true! That's one of the great things about truth: one, (when it has to do with gospel) it is universal; and two, one of the things God is knows as is "the light, the truth and the way". God doesn't change, therefore truth doesn't change.

I just read a CES Fireside talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland called Lessons from Liberty Jail. One of my favorite things to study and read is the D&C 121-122 because of the strength and comfort that the Lord blesses Joseph with. A little bit of background, these sections (and also 123) are when Joseph is in Liberty Jail. In the talk, Elder Holland talks about some of the conditions: it was the coldest winter that Missouri had on record at that time, Joseph and the other men didn't have a good source of warmth, they had a lack of nutrition--some of the men even tried to poison the men that were in Liberty, they were away from their families, and the church was still facing persecution. One of the biggest--and I would add bloodiest--events to take place while Joseph was in Liberty was the Haun's Mill massacre. It was said that the things that occured there were so bad it was "enough to make hell itself shudder, and to stand aghast and pale, and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy." (D&C 123:10) All of these horrible things were happening and Joseph prayed fervently for the Saints: "O God, where art thou?"

There are many times in my life when I cry out to God and ask for His help. I want to bear testimony that He has heard every one of my cries and prayers! I confess, I'm not sure how He can hear my prayer and that person in Germany or Texas or even China who is praying at the same time I am, but I know He does! I testify that God is always there with His arm stretched out to me. In 1 Nephi 21 it talks about how Christ cannot forget any of God's children because He has engraven us upon His hands. I testify that that is true. I know that Christ suffered for my sins; Kellie made an interesting point about what a "sin" is today in Relief Society. She said: "A sin is anything that takes our life out of balance." Christ suffered for my sins, including: my physical pains, my emotional pains, my insecurities, my mistakes, and so many other things. Elder Holland said: “But whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us.” I know that this is true because I've experienced it in my own life, whether they have been big things or little things. Now, just because He always answers my prayers doesn't mean He always answers "Yes". There have been times when He has told me "Not now" or "Be patient" and even "No", but I do know that He answers my prayers.

I know that God loves all of His children and there is nothing that we can do to change that love. One of the words that is used in the scriptures is the word succor which means, to run to. Sometimes, when I think about that word I imagine that some of us--and I know that I can be included in this list sometimes--try to run away. When we run, He follows. He doesn't just watch us run away because He loves us. But He runs closely behind us so that, when we choose, we can turn around and He will be right there behind us with His arms outstretched and ready to help you through the hard times. His kindness will not depart from you! You are His child and He loves you more than we can physically comprehend right now. The closing song for the CES Fireside was "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee" which has become one of my favorite songs. I encourage you to watch this video where you hear Elder Holland's powerful and true testimony and then the beautiful musical number: My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee. ". . . know thou, my son [or daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way . . . therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." (D&C 122:7-9)

He Gives Flower to Everyone

I just wanted to share a song that touched me this morning. I had the blessed opportunity to go to my dear friend, Carrisa's, farewell. First of all, I'd like to say how proud I am of her and she is going to do a fantastic job serving the people in the Philippines! As I was driving and enjoying the beauty of God's creation this song began to play. I want to testify that I everything we go through is for our good. In the song ("He Gives Flowers to Everyone" by Cherie Call) the young sister, in the song, is struggling with being single (which is something that I struggle with sometimes). As I sat and listened to the words, I had several different thoughts. Here are the words:

"She didn't try to catch the bouquet

She knows it's not her turn, and it's okay

Usually it doesn't even cross her mind

That's what she likes to tell her friends anyway

But she can finally say, maybe it was for the best

And there are lots of things she hasn't even missed

Now and then she starts to feel alone

But then she looks outside

She knows she's got roses of her own

Cause He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the girlfriends or the brides

He sees the beauty deep inside

And He gives flowers to everyone

She hangs up the green satin dress

She laughs at how they're always out of style

It was just like all the others in the line

And when they asked her she told them

She'd never been more fine

But still she wonders what it would be like

To talk to someone when she gets home late at night

Sometimes she likes to pray out loud

That's when she knows she's not the only girl alone in a crowd

Cause He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the clever or the elegant

Her cares will never be irrelevant

He gives flowers to everyone

And when they're out of season, she has snow

And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow

He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky

Season after season, His love will never die

He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the mothers and the wives

He sees the beauty in our lives

And He gives flowers to everyone"

One of the thoughts that I had was actually something that my incredibly insightful friend, Kellie, taught me. Last year, as Kellie taught one of the Relief Society lessons, she said "I am learning things that I could learn most effectively by being single. My twin sister is learning some of those same lessons while she is married because that is what is most effective for her." I think I thought that because that is something that I'm currently trying to grasp and understand. God has things for me to learn that will be most effective for me in my life while I'm single.

The other thought I had was about tender mercies in my life. I've written about a few, but I'm beginning to notice how much God's hand is truly in my life. I've come to love sunsets and sunrises, and they have become a wonderful gift from God. They are a continual reminder to me of His love for me. I especially love the bridge where Cherie sings: "And when they're out of season [the flowers], she has snow. And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow, He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky. Season after season, His love will never die." Even amongst trials, where flowers cannot grow, God finds ways for us to be uplifted and edified. He blesses us with "diamonds in the midnight sky", wonderful friends who are a continual support when times are hard, a loving family who doesn't judge you because of some mistakes that you make. I (and all who read this, and even those who don't read it) are beloved sons and daughters of God. That means so much to me, to truly know that I am a child of God, He is my Father. I'm grateful for the wonderful flowers that He gives me every day, whether they be eloquent roses or small forget-me-nots, He blesses me every day!

Picture I got online