Blast from the Past

I was going through some pictures and ran across some from the past few years of school! It brought back fantastic memories, I loved it!

L to R: Cameo, Me, Lindy, and Alex (Sp. 2009)

L to R: Trrravis, Me, Alex, David, Cameo, and Helen is behind the camera (Sp. 2009)

Eli (my tutor and friend) and I. He is one of the reasons that I'm still a Music Major! He was such a support and good friend!! I remember the first time I met him, he was playing the "laughing game" with some people . . . yet I was still intimidated to be tutored by him! Ha :D (Sp. 2009)

FHE Flour fight; one of my favorite FHE's ever!!! (Sp. 2009)

Fishbowl Clique L to R: (top) "Countess 'Elen", Me/"Suddenly Sarah"
(bottom) Cameo, Nykele, "Dictator" David, Alex/"Mr. Withers", and Cassandra (Spring 2009)

This was after the BYU Vocal Point concert. I didn't go with Logan, but I ran into him afterward! He was definitely one of my best friends while he was up there! One of the funniest memories I had with him: "hot cocoa juice" and "demon dimes". One of the greatest though was him giving me a blessing when I had a concussion. (Winter 2009)

The Chromatics L to R: Nykele, Kyrsten, Me, and Stephanie (Barbershop Quartet; Spring 2009)

"I Won't Say I'm In Love" from BYU-Idaho's Disney Revue. This was around a time when I was incredibly stressed, and you can actually see that I'm a little ill and tired! But Cassandra Hess, Cami Bigler, Christina Brandt, and I did it! It was fun! (Spring 2010)

My Best Friends Wedding #1: Cami Parks! One of my favorite memories of this was when Christina and Cassandra had a small fight over the bouquet! ;) (Fall 2010)

This is a comedy group that comes to BYU-Idaho fairly often. Kirby Heyborne was everybody's favorite!! (Winter 2010)

L to R: Christina, Me, Helen (top), Nykele, and Cameo We made a trip down to Utah to watch Collegiate sing in "Music and the Spoken Word". We stayed at my house and I took them to Dairy Keen for the first time! (Winter 2010)

Las Banditas L to R: Carrie, Cameo, Me, and Tess  We loved pulling pranks on our FHE brothers, who dished it right back to us! This particular night we went out really, really early and piled snow in front of their door so they couldn't get out! (Winter 2010)

Collegiate Groupies L to R: Nykele, Christina, Travis, Cameo, Helen, and Me. The BYU-Idaho Collegiate Singers had traveled down to sing on "Music and the Spoken Word" and a few of us traveled down to support them! It was a fun trip! We ALL went from Collegiate "groupies" to members of the choir!!  (Spring 2010)

I was really, really stressed one particular week. Nykele and Cami Parks decided that, while I was out, they would heart-attack my room! It was one of the greatest tender mercies of my life! (Spring 2010)

My Best Friends Wedding (Part 2)

As I've gone to school these past four years I've made some fantastic friends! I had the opportunity to go to one of my best friends wedding in Oct of 2010 (Cami [Bigler] Parks), and I just had the opportunity to celebrate with another one of my best friends--Cassandra (Hess) DeWitt on Dec. 20, 2012. Here are some pictures from my best friends wedding!

I wish I could have gotten a better picture of this. But this was one of my favorite moments  at the wedding! Cassandra and her Dad danced to "Butterfly Kisses" and, while they were dancing, Cassandra's mother and sisters stood off to the side and watched. Their eyes filled with tears, but there was so much pride in their eyes too. It was really touching!

Where "happily ever after" begins!

I am beautiful, I am special, I am loved!

A few people who read this blog don't really know about the life changes I'm currently going through. I'd like to take a second to share it with you! I've been striving to be healthier by eating better and jogging. I actually haven't been jogging for about a week because I've strained a muscle in my heel, but I think it'll be fully healed by tomorrow (pun is completely intended)! So, I'll begin jogging again tomorrow morning at 7:00am! But, this is from another blog that I'm writing specifically about this particular journey! I wanted to share it with you who read this! I feel that it's important to share goals, struggles, and successes when you're going through a change. Here's that specific post:

As I've been jogging I've learned that I'm not my friends who are runners. That isn't to say that I'm not enjoying jogging at all. I feel that it's free therapy! It has really helped me feel a better balance in my life! But I need to remind myself why I'm doing this. It isn't because my friends are doing it; it's because I WANT to be healthy, fit, and happy! So, I'm going to make some changes.

This blog (the private blog about this health journey) is meant for me to write some things I'm feeling about this little repentance process I've been going through. I'll explain; for the majority of my life I've resorted to food to make me feel better (that and music, but you don't get much physical activity from sitting at a piano). Looking back, I wish I could tell my nine year-old self that I just needed to control what I ate, don't eat so much junk, and to get out more and run around! But I can't do that! So, one step at-a-time I'm changing my heart and my body. I've already lost a couple of pounds from doing so and it feels great! But I do need more dedication.

My goals:

• Jog 4-5x a week!
• My goal is to be able to run 1.5 miles in less than eleven minutes by January 3, 2013.
• A goal I have for Winter Semester of 2013 is to run the midnight 5K that the campus will be doing (I hope). If not, I'll do it on my own!
• Do NOT eat fast food! Eat it maybe 1-2 times a month (but don't count on it)!
• It isn't healthy and there's nothing to gain from it, except for some extra pounds! ;)
• Don't eat so much sugar/junk food!! Limit size/tpm (times per month)
• This one is huge for me! Recently I've learned that, as I've been making these lifestyle changes that my stomach actually gets really upset when I eat too much sugar (ice cream, chocolate, etc.) So, limit it!
• I'm not getting rid of it all together because from everything that I've read, that isn't healthy. But limiting the intake is healthy. It's good to "splurge" on something every now-and-then. But really make it "now-and-then".

These are being put into effect immediately! I obviously couldn't necessarily get the jogging this week, but I'm jogging tomorrow AND Saturday AND Monday!

Despite these goals to change my appearance, I want to make it clear that I know that I am beautiful, that I am special, and that I am loved. I'm not doing this to gain approval from anybody; I'm doing this so that I am healthy! I need to change my health because, let's face it, right now I'm not healthy! But, I love who I am and I'm loving this change that I'm making! I thank you all for your constant love and support!

Lullabies

Well, I just got back from a funeral. It was my first time going to one for an infant. Her name was Jennsen and she was two and a half months old. The funeral was very touching and full of hope. It's easy for people to think to themselves "Why has this happened? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" But, this funeral was all about the hope and the truth that they will see Jennsen again. Jennsen is with Heavenly Father, she is in His arms right now. I know that there was a reason that she was taken away at this time, but I do not know the reason.

In the program there was a beautiful, yet heart-wrenching, poem in the front. As I read it, I couldn't help but feel tears fill my eyes. The poem is called "Lullabies" and it says:

Daddy please don't look so sad,

Mommy please don't cry.

I am in the arms of Jesus

and He sings me lullabies.

Please do not try to question God,

don't think He is unkind.

Don't think He sent me to you and that

He changed His mind.

You see, I am special

and I'm needed up above.

I'm the special child you gave Him,

the product of your love.

I'll always be there with you.

So watch the sky at night.

Find the brightest star that's gleaming,

That's my halo's brilliant light.

So Daddy please don't look so sad,

Mommy please don't cry.

I am in the arms of Jesus,

And He sings me lullabies.

I know that Brother and Sister DeWall will be able to see their beautiful baby Jennsen again. Not only that, but they will get to raise her during the Millennium! Bishop Witt said, "Grief is a product of love." I feel that it's necessary to feel grief, because that's a way of showing that you loved them. I don't know this family at all, nor did I get to meet them. But I could feel the love they had for their child and I could feel the love that our Heavenly Father has for them. I'm so grateful for this gospel and for the truth that I know it is. I pray that the DeWall's will feel God's comfort, because He's there and He always will be. 

To those of you reading, know that God loves you! God does not put people into our lives for no reason. There was a quote on the front of the program that said: "There is no footprint too small that cannot leave an imprint in this world." (Author Unknown) If you've lost a love one, whether old or young, remember the time that you had with them and the lessons that you learned from them. Don't take time that you have with the ones you love for granted. I love you (yes, even you whom I do not know)! God bless you!

Refiners Fire

God is amazing! He truly is aware of my needs, but is also aware of when I am most open to receive what He needs me to hear or see.

As a choir today we sang the song My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee. I have always loved that song, it's message is so powerful! I feel a special love for music, particularly music with words. It truly does strike me to my core! It connects with my spirit in a way that few things really can! This particular song always reminds me of Joseph Smith's experience in Liberty Jail. And yet, we are reminded in the song, that though we may be going through trials and difficulties God's kindness--or love--will never depart from us. It doesn't matter what sins we commit, what things we do correctly or incorrectly, God's love will NEVER depart from us! He loves us; He is our Father! There have been times in my life where I've felt like He's forgotten me or He doesn't love me anymore! I want to testify that that is a lie! He NEVER forgets His children, of which YOU are! I may not even know you, but our Heavenly Father does!

The talks today were amazing as well! One of the speakers, Kyle, said: "Prayer is the key to getting through trials." It made me think of the hymn Lean On My Ample Arm; the word "ample" means: "enough or more than enough" His arm can support our burdens and so much more! His "yoke is easy, and His burden is light" (Matt. 11:30) Lean on His arm, trust in His love, and receive peace and strength!

In Sunday school the teacher mentioned the refiner's fire. We turned to 3 Nephi 24: 3 which reads: "And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver . . ." and there were several things that I felt were really important! Somebody in the class pointed out that it says that "he shall SIT . . ." and at first I didn't think that was significant. This is what the person went on to talk about. God doesn't put us in the refiners fire and then leave us to go do something else while we work through it. He sits there with us; Christ is with us every step of the way. Then we talked about what it means to be "refined". When a blacksmith refines silver or something they are getting rid of all of the imperfections; that's what happens to us! If we use prayer, like what Kyle said, and the atonement of Jesus Christ we can remove the imperfections that we have as we travel through this fire. (Now, I personally don't think that the imperfections are literally removed from us, but I believe that they are no longer an imperfection; I believe that they become a strength or that we gain control over it) Then Kellie, the teacher, shared something that a blacksmith once said. Here's the quote: "A silversmith once was asked, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He replied, "When I can see myself in it." (Via)

As I've gone through some trials of my own, I am beginning to look back and see where some of my weaknesses have become strengths, where I have been made a better person, and where I have been able to draw closer to God. Kind of quoting something that was said in church today, "I have not yet fought, but I do not fear." I know that I have not finished my fight, yet I do not fear. I know that God is sitting beside me as I go through the refiners fire, as my imperfections are changed and as I become more like God, my creator and my Heavenly Father. God knows me, Jesus Christ knows me, and they love me! I'm grateful for trials that help me become stronger, that help me master myself better, that help me become more like God.

"Release with love . . ."

You know, there are people that come into our lives for a "reason and a season" whether it's family, friends, mentors, teachers, etc. However, can I just say that sometimes it's hard to release them when that season changes. I was talking to my friend on Sunday about how I'm trying to "let someone go" in my life right now. She looked at me, lovingly, and gave me a new mantra: "Release it [whatever "it" may be] with love; receive peace and comfort." I've been saying this to myself all week, and I must say it has helped. I think that this can apply to any situation you may be in. When you need to let go of pain, release it with love. Understand that it was in your life for a reason, that it has taught you something worthwhile and now you can release it. Until you release it, the Lord cannot bless you with all of the peace and comfort He has to offer you. No matter what pain you are feeling due to an experience, losing somebody close to you, or whatever, "Release it with love; receive peace and comfort."

I just stumbled across this quote--the author is unknown--and I like it. It says: "I think God puts some people into your life to test you, until you stand up and say enough is enough. I am worth more than you offer me."

I am a Daughter of God

So, last night was kind of a rough night for me. I won't go into any detail, but just know that I was having a hard time. When I got home from institute I knelt down and began to have a talk with my Heavenly Father. I was irritated and hurt and I didn't know what to do. I felt like this was weighing me down and I even told my Heavenly Father that I didn't think I could do this, that it was too hard. As I was kneeling, I looked up and saw my scriptures sitting in front of me. I decided I would try that "open up to any random scripture" thing (the only other time I've done that was when I was trying to decide on whether or not I should go on band tour. I was taken to a scripture about death by fire and decided not to go). This time, I let the scriptures fall open wherever they would. Still on my knees, I let them fall open to Genesis 18:14; the scripture reads, "Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son." I laughed at the end of the scripture, but the first line is what really stood out to me. Is any thing too hard for the Lord?

I sat and pondered for only a moment and began to change my prayer. I asked for His help, I asked if He would help me carry this burden and if He would be yoked to me and this trial. As I pleaded for His help I was taken to my patriarchal blessing. I began to read through it and was stopped by one phrase: "Sarah, you are one of our Father in Heaven's choice daughters . . ." and I realized that I didn't know what that meant. What is a "choice daughter"? So, I Googled it! No matter how many different ways I typed it into Google, there was one talk that was always the first website to pop up. It was a talk given by Elder James E. Faust in 1999 called "What It Means to Be a Daughter of God" The Lord answers our prayers in mysterious ways, but this was definitely and answer to my prayers.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths." God understands things and sees the big picture. Whereas I, a limited human, only see what's right in front of me. There is nothing I can't do when I'm with him! I am a daughter of God who loves me so much; He lets me experience things so that I can grow and be like Him! I'm grateful for these experiences; I rejoice in them (even if it does take time and pain). It will all be over soon, but until then "Keep moving forward" (Walt Disney) and trust in God. Lean on Him, walk with Him, and He will direct your path.

Les Misérables

Well, my week of productions is over! To recap: Wednesday I saw Così fan tutte (opera by Mozart), this morning I saw The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (adapted by Teresa Dayley Love, who also directed it), and I just got back from seeing the wonderful Wasatch High School production of Les Misérables (it was the school edition, but it was still incredible)! I was thoroughly impressed with the vocals in this cast! Les Mis is not an easy musical to pull off, yet it was done incredibly well! The directors of this musical were: Ms. Laurie Turnblom (technical), Mr. Stephen Reynolds (musical), and Mr. Michael Siggard (orchestra) with Mrs. Anna Wilson as the vocal coach! The cast consisted of:

Jean Valjean: Glen Wright
Fantine: Emma Sanders
Javert: Daniel Clegg
Eponine: Jana Wilhite
Marius: Joshua Hooker
Cosette: Savannah Bigelow
M. Thenardier: Taylor Murdock
Mme. Thenardier: Melissa Rhees

Oh my, all of these people had some serious pipes!!! They can SING!!! I felt that the cast did an incredibly good job putting this all together! I don't think I could pick a favorite part, nor a favorite vocalist! They were all incredible and I'm incredibly proud of their hard work in putting all of this together! The set too was stunning and was incredibly well built!

I was truly touched by this production! As I watched Jean Valjean and Javert kind of "go-at-it" a phrase that Javert kept saying popped into my head: "You're a thief and you'll never change." And yet we see Valjean change through out the entire musical! He is a different man every scene! This musical is all about the repentance process and the message that you can change and become better! Good job to all of those involved in this production and all of the others that I've seen! I feel truly blessed to have seen and heard all of your wonderful talents!

The Legend of Sleepy Hollow

Well, my week of plays/musicals is drawing to an end! Today I had the wonderful opportunity to see BYU's production of "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" with my little sister. One of the greatest things about this play was the audience participation that was involved. It felt more like it was story time than I was sitting in a play. Not that sitting and watching a play is bad, but it's always nice when you get to participate in it. There were two speaking actors (who portrayed all of the characters in the play) and then two spirits. The spirits were the ones who typically pulled the people up onto the stage and had them portray things like: doors, windows, animals, etc. All of the actors did a fantastic job! I also had the privilege of seeing one of my friends in the production. I had never seen him act before, but he's definitely got talent!

Image via

There were two different types of seating: chair and floor. I didn't realize what the floor seating would entail, so I bought Anna a chair seat with me. When we arrived I saw red tape on the floor and assumed that that was where the floor seating was. Anna did end up sitting there while I stayed in a seat; she's been really into theater of late (it must run in the family or something) and it was fun to watch her during the play! There was a point during the play when Anna was asked by a spirit to be one of the school children. She went into the school as Mr. Ichabod Crane is seeing his room that somebody has just messed up. I was surprised that she was so quiet and seemed to be really shy at first. As the scene moved on, Mr. Crane asked who could have made this mess!? Anna responded, "Maybe it was you." Mr. Crane reacted, in his British accent, "It was not me!" She seemed to really enjoy it! She also got to play a window, which I think she enjoyed the most (which is funny, but she had a little girl standing up there with her and they were kind of giggly as Mr. Crane and Katrina Van Tassel spoke through her. All-in-all I feel that she really enjoyed herself (as did I)!

Now, for my last production of my "Musical/Play Week"; WHS (Wasatch High School)'s production of Les Misérables!!!

Ah, genetics!

So, for the past couple of months I've been striving to eat and live healthier. I've been exercising more (I'm beginning to love jogging/running) and eating more fruits and vegetables and controlling my portion sizes. Now, what I'm about to say may shock some people but that's okay; I love genetics!!! I inherited a slow metabolism and I'm so grateful for that! Why? Because it's teaching me how to use self control and self-mastery! Weird perspective, right?

These past couple of months, I've learned to say no to things that I sometimes really wanted! One time, while I was at work, I was kind of feeling like ice cream (working around ice cream all the time, it is hard to say no sometimes). As I stood there in front of the computer screen I had two choices: I could get ice cream, or I could just clock out and eat the wonderful food I brought from home. I quickly clocked out and started preparing the food that I had brought! Through all of this I've become happier, gained more self-control, and more confidence in myself! I don't know if I would have obtained this if it weren't for genetics! ;)

PS--Perspective changes everything sometimes, doesn't it? ;)

A Night at the Opera

Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to go see BYU's presentation of Mozart's opera Cosi fan tutte. They did such an amazing job! The title, translated, means "women are alike". This opera is about two soldiers: Guglielmo (baritone) and Ferrando (tenor), who make a bet with Don Alfonso (bass) that their women will remain faithful to them at all times. To prove this, the men decide to participate in a little "test"; they agree to pretend to go off to battle for a little while (it ends up being a day) and then dressing up as Albanian men and each seducing the other man's fiancée.

Via

The women: Dorabella (mezzo-soprano and lover of Ferrnado) and Fioriligi (soprano, lover of Guglielmo) are vexed that the men leave. Due to this reaction, the men leave with full confidence that their fiancée's will be completely faithful. As they begin to seduce the women as Albanian's the women refuse to give in . . . that is, until the end of Act I! Don Alfonso asks for the help of Dorabella's and Fioriligi's maid, Despina (soprano). With Despina's encouragement, the women do end up falling in love with the "Albanians" and agree to marry them. In the end, the truth comes out. Don Alfonso sings: "Yes, I deceived you, but it was to teach your sweethearts a lesson. They will be much wiser now, Come now, embrace and don't argue, Someday all four of you will laugh, as we have laughed."

It was so well done, and such a fantastic cast! My favorite scene was actually one that my school (BYU-Idaho) has done before. It was Act I Scene 4. The men decide to "take some poison" to show their feelings on the unreciprocated love from these beautiful women! Despina dresses up as a doctor and uses "magnetism" to heal them! It is, truly, one of the funniest scenes in all of opera that I've ever seen! I feel that, even if you aren't a fan of opera, that you would enjoy this! It is so enjoyable and absolutely hilarious! The moral of the story--according to Mozart--is: 

"Happy is the man who can always look on the bright side of life and lets himself be guided by reason. What makes others week, will make him laugh.

In the whirlwinds of the world he can find a lovely calm."

"A Quiet Heart"

For the past couple of days I've been reading a wonderful book by Sister Patricia T. Holland (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's wife). The book is entitled A Quiet Heart. Last night I had the opportunity to sit in the Provo temple and read this book while I waited for my ward to finish their session (I'm not endowed so I got to do baptisms instead). As I read, I got very excited when I got to a poem she quoted! As I read the words, music came to my mind: this was a song that I sang in Collegiate earlier this year! The poem is entitled "Quiet Time" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow; the song title is "Inward Stillness". The entire poem, I believe, can be summed up by the last line of the poem "That we may do His [God's] will, and do that only."

Via Elder and Sister Holland

This books has been such a blessing for me over the past couple of days! Another thing that has touched me in a way that I cannot express was a story that she had heard from a man by the name of Scott Kelly. I don't feel that I should/could sum it up, so here's the story:
"Years ago at a hotel swimming pool while vacationing as a family, my wife and I became distracted by the antics of our new baby. We turned back to the pool in horror to find that our 3-year-old son had walked off the last step of the pool into water over his head. He was standing with his head submerged and his arms raised and waving back and forth. I rushed over, grabbed his arms and pulled him out. He had been under water only a short time and was all right, but he said something that has since stayed with me. He said, "I tried to cry under the water but I couldn't, so I held up my arms and waited because I knew you would come'" (Church News, 7 January 1995, 4). Sister Holland went on to add: "If only we could remember, when the water of worldly sorrow and pressure is crashing in around us, that we don't need to give up, nor do we need to wildly thrash around strangling anything that looks like help. If we could just remember to peacefully hold out our arms to let people and God know we are hurting, the help will come. I promise it will come." (A Quiet Heart, pg. 24-25)

As I sat in the temple and read this story, I could feel my eyes fill with tears! What faith this young child had in his father. I then thought of the struggles in my life and how I sometimes feel as though I am "under water" and burdened so much that I cannot cry for help. But help will come! Often times, help has come, I just need to recognize it!

I know that God hears and answers our prayers, even if it isn't in a way that we expect or want. God truly does know me and how He can help me. All I need to do is raise my arms to Him and He will grab a hold of me and lift me up, He will save me!

One other thing that I loved (there are far to many to write, but I feel that this is important) is what Sister Holland said about when we are going through trials. She talked about how sometimes our lives fall apart and nothing seems to be going right! She said: "At those times, my first thought is often, 'He is angry with me. What have I done wrong? What sin did I commit? Why have I been moved out of my comfort zone, and who can i get back in it?' But I am getting older now--we all do that--and I am growing out of those reactions. I am not seeing God's stretching of me as a punishment but as reward because it has always led me on to a higher level of spiritual understanding and always--always!--has brought me unanticipated and seemingly un earned blessings. It isn't God's anger that allows change and upheaval and, from time to time, suffering in our lives. It is in fact his tenderest love that allows it."

I believe that, too often, people believe that "bad things happen to bad people". But was Christ bad? No! He was perfect in every way, shape, and form! And yet what happened to him? He as whipped, spat on, had a crown of thorns placed on his head, betrayed, and then killed. And what for? For being the Son of God, for healing the sick, raising the dead, loving everybody, and bringing others to Christ. Things happened to Christ because they needed to in order for Him to do the Father's will. He needed to suffer for all of our sins, pains, and infirmities. Bad things do not happen to purely bad people; it happens to everybody! God takes us out of our comfort zone so that we can become what He knows we are capable of becoming! He sees our divine potential, and He knows what we need to go through to get there! God is wonderful, and I am grateful for His faith and love that allows me to go through hardships and trials that make me a better person!

Via A Quiet Heart

If you ever have time, I recommend reading this book! It isn't a long book (130 pages) so if you're worried about not having time, it won't take up much of it! But, as you read it, reflect on what she's saying! I have only gotten to page 48 and I already feel as though I have been changed by it! The book is called A Quiet Heart by Patricia T. Holland if you are interested!

Ward Temple Night

So, last night was our Heber YSA Ward temple night. We were to meet at the church at 5:30 so that we could be there in time for the 7:30 session. I arrived at the church at 5:28 and there was nobody there! I started to get nervous, and then Brother and Sister McKee pulled up. When 5:40 or 5:45 rolled around, it was still just us sitting in the parking lot. Then, the Bishop and his wife pulled up! So, there were five of us total and we drove down to the temple. Sister Brown kept teasing about how she was sorry that I had to "hang out with the senior citizens". I laughed, but I didn't care their age or anything; it was just good to be among friends. As we drove down, Bishop turned around to me and asked what was the "latest gossip" with some of the couples in the ward! I laughed and told him what I knew (which wasn't a lot) and he then turned it onto me, "Who are you dating?" He asked excitedly!
"I'm not." I responded, not sadly but not nearly as enthusiastically as he had asked me.
"We'll have to change that!" He responded happily and with a twinkle in his eye.

Brother Coombs (member of the Bishopric) and Glen (a young single adult) met up with the McKee's and the Brown's at the temple. They went through and did an endowment session while I went downstairs and participated in baptisms for the dead. It never ceases to amaze me that I get to help others who have died get a chance at accepting the gospel. As I stand proxy for them, I truly feel their love (and sometimes their acceptance) for the work that is being done.

I finished quite a bit earlier than the rest, so I waited in the foyer for them. I read from the Book of Mormon and from Sister Holland's book A Quiet Heart. I also had the wonderful opportunity to see one of my old roommates while I was at the temple! I had no idea she was living in Orem at this time, but we had a wonderful chance to catch up for a few minutes. After a little while they came out and we went out to eat a Zupas! It's a place in Provo where they serve soup, sandwiches, and salads! As I got up to order I felt very overwhelmed by their menu! I had no idea what to get or what was good. I ended up getting the Shanghai Chicken Salad with some Chicken Enchilada Chili soup (and whenever you order something you get bread and a chocolate dipped strawberry with it. I didn't eat mine, I gave it to Glen because I wasn't hungry)! Boy was it good!

My friend Glen and I sat next to each other and, though I was rather quiet, we had some good conversations! At one point during the night he asked me if I spoke any other languages. I laughed and told him that I pretend to! As part of my major I've had the blessed opportunity to take diction classes for: Italian, French, Latin, and German. If you put something that is written in any of those languages in front of me, I can read it! However, I don't necessarily know what it means. I can pick out parts of it, but not by any means all of it! It was great to talk to him and get to know him a little better.

As we traveled home it took all of my strength not to fall asleep! Not because I was bored by any means, but because I was so tired! I am proud to say that I didn't fall asleep, but that I was able to carry a conversation with the others in the car! I have such a fantastic ward and I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to associate myself with such wonderful people!

Fall=Crunchy Leaves!!!

Okay, so sometimes I think I'm really cool and today was one of those days! As I was walking home from work today I couldn't help but notice all of the beautiful colors in the trees that were around me. I stepped on one leaf and it crunched . . . and that's when it all started! That one crunch gave me such adrenaline, it was ridiculous! I started trying to step on every single leaf I saw (I'm convinced I left no leaf untouched the entire way home). There were some leaves really close together that I know I looked silly as I tried to step on them all; and then there were some that were far apart and I would try not to step anywhere else before I stepped on that other leaf!

At one point, I was by a field and there were NO leaves on the sidewalk. I stopped mid-stride and looked across the field and saw leaves all over the grass. Immediately the thought popped into my head "Now Sarah, what are you going to do? Are you going to stay on the sidewalk like a normal person or are you going to go jump in the leaves like a psycho?" I thought for all of a second and I started running toward the leaves! I jumped up and down and stepped on so many different leaves! As I walked away, all I could think to myself was "Man, I'm so cool!" (Not in a conceited way, but in a way that I think I was trying to diminish the embarrassment that was trying to take over). I'm convinced Heavenly Father was just laughing at me all afternoon as I stepped on each leaf! I know I looked silly, and yet I don't care!

You know, I can't explain how happy I am right now! I feel that I'm where the Lord needs me to be and that I'm doing what He wants/needs me to be doing. Especially as I've started exercising more (which has been absolutely AMAZING!) I've felt more confidence in myself, my voice, my testimony, my secular knowledge, and basically everything! I have such wonderful friends that support me and really keep me going! But, more importantly, I have a Heavenly Father and Savior who support me and give me strength when I feel weak. I wrote in the last post about my jogging with Heavenly Father; He truly does strengthen me! I have been jogging farther and longer than I ever thought I would! He sends me little love notes and reminders every day (like the crunchy leaves today)! God truly does know me; and it isn't just like a "Oh yeah, your name is Sarah!" He knows me better than I know myself! He knows exactly what I need to help cheer me up and it's wonderful!

Life is grand, and amidst all of the trials and tribulations I've truly learned for myself that what Robert Frost said is correct: "it goes on". By eliminating things in your life that you don't need (Facebook was a huge one for me) you can focus on the important things (like exercising, homework, the gospel, etc.). God is good, and I'm grateful for His love!!!

Changing with the leaves

Alright, so I've been going through a lot of changes in my life for the past month or so. Because I don't want to waste anybody's time with all of them, I'll just mention the one that I'm focusing the most on, becoming healthier. Part of that is eating healthier food, less portions, and exercising more (45+ mins. a day). I have my days where I hate getting up and jogging--like I think everybody does--but every time I do, I am so incredibly blessed.

This morning, for instance, I jogged with Heavenly Father (it's kind of like what I do when I'm struggling and driving; I imagine Heavenly Father is in the passengers seat and I just speak to Him). It's kind of nerdy, I know, but it helps me like crazy!! I imagined that He was jogging right beside me and it actually helped me go farther than I thought I would! I also, during my warm-up/cool-down I talked to Him about some concerns that I have in my life and struggles that I am currently going through. I feel so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful Heavenly Father who is willing to jog with me! =) No but in all seriousness, I'm so grateful that He's willing to listen to my (usually silly) problems! Whether it's something about a silly guy, work, or whatever else it could be He is always listening!

I'm so grateful that my Heavenly Father cares enough about me to help me with goals that I have, even if they seem far-fetched in my mind at the time. During Conference this past weekend, one of the speakers quoted one of my favorite hymns "Lead Kindly Light" (Hymn #97). There was a line that I never had understood until he read it; how we read it is completely different than what it means. In the first verse it says: "I do not ask to see the distant scene--one step enough for me." When he read that, it helped me realize that I don't need to see the "distant scene" or the "end product" right now. I'm good with taking one step at a time!

As I've made a resolution to change now with the leaves instead of with the year I have felt so much better about myself and where I'm going with my life! I love it, truly I do! I'm so grateful I decided to work on this now instead of January! I'm becoming a new and better person!

"I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!"

Wow, I just finished watching the first two sessions of General Conference! I love Conference weekend, my family comes together and we listen to the words of the prophet of God! One of my favorite talks from today was by Sister Ann M. Dibb. She shared a mantra that she made: "I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it." She then went through and talked about each of these things more in detail. That's my new mantra! I am pleased to say that I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it!

A couple of really cool announcements were made today at the beginning of the afternoon session of General Conference. First, there were two new temples announced: one will be in Tucson, Arizona and the other in Arequipa, Peru. I'm so grateful for temples and it excites me to know that more are being built! The other announcement is that the age of missionaries has changed "effective immediately" in the words of President Monson. The age prior to today was that young men would serve at the age of nineteen (19) and the sisters--if they so desired--would serve missions at the age of twenty-one (21). Now, young men will serve their missions at the age of eighteen (18), and the sisters can serve when they are nineteen (19)! It's amazing! If I had gone on a mission when I was nineteen I would have been home a year an a half ago!!! It was an amazing announcement, but I know that it was of God!

Another talk that really touched me was from the morning session and it was given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. One of the things he talked about was "wearing our busy-ness like a badge of honor". I do that ALL the time! I'm always so pleased with myself when I'm busy and I almost feel like it makes me a better person when I don't have time to sleep! Yet, his entire message was talking about regrets and how we can avoid them when the time comes for us to leave this life. As he spoke, all I could think about was my desire to change and become the person God knows I'm capable of being. Oddly enough, he mentioned that later on in his talk. While he was talking about our divine potential he said "Make some resolutions today!" I had the thought pop into my head: "Change with the leaves, not the year!" I don't have to wait until January 1, 2013 to change who I am; I can change now! So many prayers have been answered for me today and I'm so excited to see what messages I receive tomorrow!! Cheers!

Student Teaching Application: CHECK!

So, for the past few days I've been in Rexburg doing my student teaching application. Boy was it less work then I thought! I was sent a check list of things I needed to have done before October 1 and it looked like a lot!! I had to get the VCC (Verification of Classwork Completion) done, get fingerprinted,  get my picture taken, and submit a personal essay about my teaching philosophy and a little bit about me. I was crazy stressed and was worried that I wasn't going to get it done by the time I left today. However, it is 9:31am and I'm done!!!

It feels kind of weird to be an official student teacher applicant; but here's my picture that will be showing on my bio

I so much loved being back in Rexburg and visiting my friends there! I had the blessed opportunity to meet my dear friends' fiance. I'm so proud and excited for her! She has been one of my best friends whilst I've been up there and I was truly (and am truly) inspired by her every time I'm around her. A deep congrats to her!

Then, of course, being back with my dear Collegiate friends was fantastic! I went to two of their rehearsals while I was there and it was awesome! The music they are doing this semester is very difficult, but it's so much fun! It was very bitter-sweet for me to leave; Rexburg has been my home for the last four years. As I prepare to graduate (July 2013 I walk, December 2013 I officially graduate) I have recognized the sweet times that I've had at this wonderful and blessed school!

This One's For the Girls . . .

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to go to my Stake Conference. All of the speakers there, I feel, were truly inspired to speak about what they did. There was such a wide spectrum of what was talked about. Everything from "Who am I?" to the Spirit of Elijah. There were several things that I thought of as I listened to them speak:

1. What do I think identifies who I am?
2. I am worth it!

So, my first thought occurred rather early in the conference as Elder Maynes asked the question: Who am I? He gave several things that people usually define us by: jobs, wealth, hobbies, and our spiritual identities. I started thinking about things that I have been identified by and this is where my message to all women comes in; don't worry about being identified by the world! One of the things that I've struggled with for a long time is my weight! I've never liked my weight and it isn't until recently that I've decided that I'm going to become truly dedicated to losing it (that's another story)! I always felt like I was ugly because I don't wear a size two pant or dress! I thought that that is how people identified me: the fat, blonde girl! I believe in being honest, so I'll tell you that I felt lower than dirt whenever I was out socializing!

Now, before I continue, let me quickly say that my views of myself are changing every day! So, I'm not asking for pity or anything of the sort! Rather, I'd like to share what I've been learning through those feelings and experiences (and don't worry, all of this still has to do with the thoughts I had at Stake Conference) because I believe that nobody deserves to feel that way! I can testify that you [sisters, and any brothers who read this despite the title ;) ] are beautiful just the way you are! If the world identifies you by your weight, height, eye color, or any other physical attribute that you may have they are not seeing the real you! You are so much more than what people see on the outside! What did I learn? I'm not a "fat, blonde girl"! But I, truly, am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. Not only that, but despite being over weight, I am my Heavenly Fathers daughter! I love the truth that I, and all of you, are beloved children of God. The song "I Am A Child of God" is true! There's no doubt of it in my mind!! Don't let people identify you purely by how you look on the outside, but don't you identify yourself by how you look on the outside either! "You are your toughest critic" and you can pick out all of your flaws within seconds of looking at yourself in the mirror! To quote President Uchtdorf, STOP IT!! Does God judge you based on your weight? Hair color? Shoe size? No! To Him, you are beautiful! Why would you call His creation, you, ugly or not good enough? Now, it isn't bad to get into shape or things like that. But when you continually degrade yourself, that is when all of this becomes a problem!

The second thought I had was that I am worth it! Isn't that an interesting thought? I actually thought it for the first time whilst I was doing my "Coming to Sarah Week". However, the thought occurred to me again today! Elder Dallin H. Oaks shared an analogy about wearing a jacket whilst star gazing, which was related to marriage. He quoted:

"Imagine that your favorite hobby is stargazing and you’ve just joined a stargazing club. You come to your first club activity eager to participate. It’s a cold night, but you’re not concerned: most of the club members are wearing club jackets, and you’ve been told you should be able to get one as well. But there is no jacket for you. You ask about it, and you are told to keep looking and that if you do your best, you will find a jacket when the time is right.

Meanwhile, you are getting pretty cold and a little worried. And you notice that most of the other club members are talking about how nice and warm their jackets are. In fact, throughout the evening the topic surfaces continually in various forms: how to wash and dry your jacket, how to add extra pockets, how to mend it, and so forth. Some of the club members notice you don’t have a jacket. “You really need a jacket for these activities,” they tell you. “Why don’t you have one yet?”

"

As he read this, of course we all had a really good laugh because, quite frankly, it's true! But, I'd like to testify to all of the sisters who are both single and married, you are worth it! Single sisters: the young man that you marry will be so blessed to have you in his life and you will be blessed to have him in yours! You are worth the wait; believe it! Married sisters: look at your husbands and realize that you were worth the wait and that he is blessed to have you in his life and vice versa! Going back to our identities: you are women and daughters of God and He loves you so much!

I testify that He loves you; He loves me! He doesn't just love us collectively, but He loves me individually! He knows my heart, my desires, my pains, and my struggles; He walks along right beside me through all of those times. God truly does succor His people! I know that that is true because I've seen it in my life every day! Today, I truly believe that He inspired these brothers and sisters to talk about what they did because I needed to hear every single message today! As President McCune (Provo, Utah Mission President) said: "God can make much more of my life than I can!" I believe that whole-heartedly!! As I've been striving to put God first in my life and improve who I am, I can say with full confidence that God truly has guided and directed me to where I should be. Not only that, but He truly is making much more of my life than I ever could have! Trust in Him and He truly will direct your path! Always remember that there is more to you than the surface and that you are worth it!

Pictures found online

"My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee"

I just want to take a second to bear my testimony about God's love for all of His children. I know that I've said this a lot in the last few posts, but it is still true! That's one of the great things about truth: one, (when it has to do with gospel) it is universal; and two, one of the things God is knows as is "the light, the truth and the way". God doesn't change, therefore truth doesn't change.

I just read a CES Fireside talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland called Lessons from Liberty Jail. One of my favorite things to study and read is the D&C 121-122 because of the strength and comfort that the Lord blesses Joseph with. A little bit of background, these sections (and also 123) are when Joseph is in Liberty Jail. In the talk, Elder Holland talks about some of the conditions: it was the coldest winter that Missouri had on record at that time, Joseph and the other men didn't have a good source of warmth, they had a lack of nutrition--some of the men even tried to poison the men that were in Liberty, they were away from their families, and the church was still facing persecution. One of the biggest--and I would add bloodiest--events to take place while Joseph was in Liberty was the Haun's Mill massacre. It was said that the things that occured there were so bad it was "enough to make hell itself shudder, and to stand aghast and pale, and the hands of the very devil to tremble and palsy." (D&C 123:10) All of these horrible things were happening and Joseph prayed fervently for the Saints: "O God, where art thou?"

There are many times in my life when I cry out to God and ask for His help. I want to bear testimony that He has heard every one of my cries and prayers! I confess, I'm not sure how He can hear my prayer and that person in Germany or Texas or even China who is praying at the same time I am, but I know He does! I testify that God is always there with His arm stretched out to me. In 1 Nephi 21 it talks about how Christ cannot forget any of God's children because He has engraven us upon His hands. I testify that that is true. I know that Christ suffered for my sins; Kellie made an interesting point about what a "sin" is today in Relief Society. She said: "A sin is anything that takes our life out of balance." Christ suffered for my sins, including: my physical pains, my emotional pains, my insecurities, my mistakes, and so many other things. Elder Holland said: “But whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us.” I know that this is true because I've experienced it in my own life, whether they have been big things or little things. Now, just because He always answers my prayers doesn't mean He always answers "Yes". There have been times when He has told me "Not now" or "Be patient" and even "No", but I do know that He answers my prayers.

I know that God loves all of His children and there is nothing that we can do to change that love. One of the words that is used in the scriptures is the word succor which means, to run to. Sometimes, when I think about that word I imagine that some of us--and I know that I can be included in this list sometimes--try to run away. When we run, He follows. He doesn't just watch us run away because He loves us. But He runs closely behind us so that, when we choose, we can turn around and He will be right there behind us with His arms outstretched and ready to help you through the hard times. His kindness will not depart from you! You are His child and He loves you more than we can physically comprehend right now. The closing song for the CES Fireside was "My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee" which has become one of my favorite songs. I encourage you to watch this video where you hear Elder Holland's powerful and true testimony and then the beautiful musical number: My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee. ". . . know thou, my son [or daughter], that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for they good. The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he? Therefore, hold on thy way . . . therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever." (D&C 122:7-9)

He Gives Flower to Everyone

I just wanted to share a song that touched me this morning. I had the blessed opportunity to go to my dear friend, Carrisa's, farewell. First of all, I'd like to say how proud I am of her and she is going to do a fantastic job serving the people in the Philippines! As I was driving and enjoying the beauty of God's creation this song began to play. I want to testify that I everything we go through is for our good. In the song ("He Gives Flowers to Everyone" by Cherie Call) the young sister, in the song, is struggling with being single (which is something that I struggle with sometimes). As I sat and listened to the words, I had several different thoughts. Here are the words:

"She didn't try to catch the bouquet

She knows it's not her turn, and it's okay

Usually it doesn't even cross her mind

That's what she likes to tell her friends anyway

But she can finally say, maybe it was for the best

And there are lots of things she hasn't even missed

Now and then she starts to feel alone

But then she looks outside

She knows she's got roses of her own

Cause He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the girlfriends or the brides

He sees the beauty deep inside

And He gives flowers to everyone

She hangs up the green satin dress

She laughs at how they're always out of style

It was just like all the others in the line

And when they asked her she told them

She'd never been more fine

But still she wonders what it would be like

To talk to someone when she gets home late at night

Sometimes she likes to pray out loud

That's when she knows she's not the only girl alone in a crowd

Cause He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the clever or the elegant

Her cares will never be irrelevant

He gives flowers to everyone

And when they're out of season, she has snow

And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow

He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky

Season after season, His love will never die

He gives flowers to everyone

Not just the mothers and the wives

He sees the beauty in our lives

And He gives flowers to everyone"

One of the thoughts that I had was actually something that my incredibly insightful friend, Kellie, taught me. Last year, as Kellie taught one of the Relief Society lessons, she said "I am learning things that I could learn most effectively by being single. My twin sister is learning some of those same lessons while she is married because that is what is most effective for her." I think I thought that because that is something that I'm currently trying to grasp and understand. God has things for me to learn that will be most effective for me in my life while I'm single.

The other thought I had was about tender mercies in my life. I've written about a few, but I'm beginning to notice how much God's hand is truly in my life. I've come to love sunsets and sunrises, and they have become a wonderful gift from God. They are a continual reminder to me of His love for me. I especially love the bridge where Cherie sings: "And when they're out of season [the flowers], she has snow. And when she's in the desert where they hardly ever grow, He gives her diamonds in the midnight sky. Season after season, His love will never die." Even amongst trials, where flowers cannot grow, God finds ways for us to be uplifted and edified. He blesses us with "diamonds in the midnight sky", wonderful friends who are a continual support when times are hard, a loving family who doesn't judge you because of some mistakes that you make. I (and all who read this, and even those who don't read it) are beloved sons and daughters of God. That means so much to me, to truly know that I am a child of God, He is my Father. I'm grateful for the wonderful flowers that He gives me every day, whether they be eloquent roses or small forget-me-nots, He blesses me every day!

Picture I got online